This is my first column. I need a second to adjust ...

THIS is my first column.

It feels like it’s my first day at a ‘job’. Figuratively speaking, I’m standing in the foyer, with my new pen and wearing a shirt that still has the shop creases in it. I’m slightly in the way. “Erm … hello ... yes ... hi … I’m supposed to start on a column this week? … What? ... Yes of course I’ll take a seat.”

A first day is a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Have I made the right decision? You watch your new colleagues for disturbing tics. Do they greet each other with silly handshakes? When they approach your cubicle, do they knock on the desk as if it were a door?