Christmas cuts

Due to the Government’s budget of austerity, ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ will be reduced to ten days.

There will be no Seven Swans-a-Swimming or Nine Ladies Dancing. The Government stated that there will still be One Partridge in a Pear Tree but the following will be cut due to budget constraints.

There will be only one turtle dove, two French hens, two calling birds, three golden rings, four geese-a-laying, five maids-a-milking, two lords-a-leaping, five pipers piping and finally one drummer drumming.

These cuts will save 85% of the €19,249.78 it now cost for the 12 Days of Christmas. The Government apologises for any inconvenience.

Kevin Devitte

Westport

Co Mayo