“There’s just a ghostly vacancy in my head”

IF YOU can say “pass the marmalade” in HTML, please feel free to turn over the page.

Sorry, but this column might not be for you.

This column is for those of you who will never open a Troubleshoot Window again as long as you live, because you know there’s no point. It’s for people who own Nokia bricks and refuse to upgrade them because the last time they did this, activating their new phone felt like breathing life into the gills of a dead trout.