You don’t have to be out of step on flamenco floor

UNO dos tres – ready?

Venga! Let’s go. Ju estart with the left. Jes, left. No, other left. Si. Bueno. Uno dos tr- WAIT! Estart again. Left foot. Left, left, left. Right. Ready?

Whether it’s a midlife crisis or misguided desire to prove that old dogs can learn new tricks, signing up for a beginners flamenco class might seem like a good idea back in the summer when it’s still months away, as unreal as an Andalucian dream. And then you find yourself in a huge room with a mirrored wall, several other fortysomethings who also think they are still 25, and a baby-faced Joaquin Cortes lookalike with stampy flamenco boots, flowing hair and flashing dark eyes. You are, of course, old enough to be his mother — if you were a beautiful Spanish gypsy lady and not a pasty-faced Celt.