Troika has done a ‘miraculous’ job

I have given the IMF, EU, ECB Troika an excellent, periodical appraisal of its performance in implementing its “programme” on Ireland.

Gentlemen, you are doing a truly miraculous job.

I had rather doubted that you were going to be able to get away with it at all.

After all, this is the only country in history forced into a ‘programme’ as a result of the complete failure of capitalism.

No other sovereign country has been so successfully persuaded to act as an insurance underwriter for international banking.

Special praise is reserved for the threatening ‘trash-talk’ of ‘bombs going off, and emergency funding being withdrawn’, all of which did the job of subduing the indigenous people, known in troika circles as the ‘Dire-ish’, as a testament to their cowering subservience.

The troika ‘programme’ implementation is right on course, even despite the danger of being found out during the upcoming fiscal referendum on volunteering for more banking-to-sovereign austerity. The degree of support from all the right-wing political parties, such as the ‘crawl-on-its-belly’ Labour’ party, is matched only by the craven support for the ‘self-abuse’ referendum in the broadcast and print media.

Consideration will now be given to putting the Direish ‘programme’ on auto-pilot, as a monkey swinging on a tyre, only interested in banana consumption, could be trusted to implement the ‘programme’ here.

Declan Doyle

Lisdowney

Kilkenny