If you’re up for blasphemy, then God must testify

YOUR columnist Steven King (May 6) shouldn’t worry too much about the proposed blasphemy law.

The chances of the Government actually delivering on this sort of thing, after due constitutional and legal deliberation, are about as likely as the means testing of child benefit or the elimination of TDs’ long service payments. Nonetheless, should it come to pass and one of your readers finds themselves in the dock, consider the following.

1. You can only blaspheme against God, not his adherents, church or earthly representatives. As you have the right to face your accuser, you can request that the court subpoena God to your trial. When he (presumably) fails to appear, the court will be forced to hold him in contempt (is that not a blasphemy too?).

2. Should you still be convicted and fined, then you need not pay the fine. In a libel case, the damages are paid to the plaintiff, and as God created the heavens and the earth and everything, (including the contents of your bank account) in them, then he already owns them and, to quote Fr Ted Crilly, the money is just “resting in your account” where it might as well stay.

3. If all else fails, call Childline and launch a counterclaim (attack being the best form of defence, even in law) for parental abuse. After all, as the church teaches, “God is our father in heaven”.

In the words of Fr Dougal Maguire, “Down with this sort of thing”.

Dr Stephen Grimmer

Rathura

Schull

Co Cork