Even doing the right thing decisively doesn’t have the PR payoff expected

SHE told them to put him in the bath and melted all the jelly she had, poured it into the hot water with which she had surrounded his comatose form, and left it to solidify around him with a spoon on the ledge, together with a note reading ‘Eat your way out’My phone made its text noise when I was starting to cook. I ignored it.

It shrieked again as I slid the food onto the plate. I disregarded it. It did it for a third time when I was handing over the spaghetti carbonara to the man in my life.

Meal served, I checked the texts. The first was a breaking news bulletin indicating that dioxins had been found in Irish pork. The second was that all Irish pig meat products were being recalled. The third was that the products of every Irish pig killed in the last several months were to be thrown out. I considered snatching the plate from himself, but decided against it, on three logical grounds.