Avoiding high heels and misogynist idiots

You’re probably up to the eyeballs with abortion by now, so let’s look at another fun topic instead: The latest proclamation from right-wing internet intellectual Jordan Peterson, who says that — and I’m quoting the New York Times here, so it ain’t fake — “socially enforced monogamous conventions decrease male violence”.

This is the same man, remember, who tells us in his populist book 12 Rules For Life that order is masculine and chaos is feminine.

Clearly being a right-wing internet intellectual, adored by legions of young males dotted along the incel spectrum, requires your proclamations not just to be nonsensical, but contradictory too.

Never mind. When your fanboys are paying for your proclamations — $80K a month from his YouTube channel alone — you can say what you damn well please.

The subtitle to Peterson’s book is ‘An Antidote To Chaos’, which in Petersonspeak translates as an antidote to the feminine.

Yet here he is telling us that men need to be in monogamous relationships with women in order to refrain from violence.

The same people who insist that failure to distinguish gender from biological sex is a hate crime sure seem to have a hard time comprehending the distinction between men and women and the symbolic masculine and feminine https://t.co/jLDeetnahz

— Dr Jordan B Peterson (@jordanbpeterson) May 18, 2018

Not quite in a Handmaid’s Tale kind of way, he is quick to point out, more a regular sex with a regular partner makes Jack a good boy framework.

He also tells young men to stand up straight and tidy their rooms — I wonder if I had a YouTube channel advising young women to avoid high heels and misogynist idiots, would I be as rich.

Of the man who last month drove a van through crowds in Toronto, murdering 10 people, Peterson says: “He was angry at God because women were rejecting him. The cure for that is enforced monogamy.”

So once you’ve picked yourself up from the floor after that statement, let’s see if the numbers hold up.

Do men in monogamous relationships automatically flop on the sofa in their trackpants watching Cash In The Attic with the missus? Because that stubborn statistic of two women every single week murdered by their partner or ex-partner just doesn’t seem to be going away.

And that’s in the UK, where violent men don’t get everyday access to guns.

Where best to check statistics if not United Nations research, ‘Facts and Figures: Ending Violence Against Women’.

What’s that, UN? Globally, up to 70% of women have encountered partner violence? Oh I get it.

Maybe Peterson means enforced monogamy stops men being violent to other men.

Why bother risking getting your head bashed in by a bunch of blokes, when you can take your aggression out on the human punchbag at home, who is physically smaller than you and can’t fight back like a testosterone-enraged primate on a street corner?

Or perhaps I misinterpreted, and all Peterson wants is for a return to a pre-feminist era where men had all the clout and women were heavily medicated.

Who is going to break the news to him that backward time travel, unlike male privilege, does not exist?