Unlike today, my sister and I were allowed to become bored

It was my Granny Murphy’s birthday recently. She probably wouldn’t be too pleased with me if I revealed her exact age in De Paper but let’s just say that it was a considerable milestone, one that many of us would be delighted to reach, writes Louise O’Neill. 

Most of the Murphy clan descended on Fernhill House hotel for an incredible afternoon tea, where Granny was presented with an extensive array of food designed to meet her dietary requirements as she is currently caffeine and gluten free which, let’s face it, is peak 2018. She was in wonderful form, still in very good health, and she continues to be the linchpin of our entire family; the matriarch to whom we all gravitate.

As a good Catholic woman, she wouldn’t like to admit to being too proud of any of her children or grandchildren (blasphemy!), but she did buy multiple copies of Almost Love for her day care centre, prompting my desperate pleas to my mother that I be allowed to rip out all the sex scenes contained within, and was almost beside herself with glee when I appeared on The Late Late Show, that pinnacle of achievement for any Irish person.