The pivotal moment a baby learns to crawl and haul

Set a baby down and within seconds she’ll be brandishing a previously unseen medieval mace in one hand and a gin-trap in the other, writes Colm O’Regan.

There is huffing and puffing and certain type of grunt. If the grunt came from an adult it would be the grunt of someone struggling with some effing bags and muttering “would one of ye get off yere backsides and give us a lift with these or do I have to do everything myself around here”.

But it’s not an adult. It’s our second baby hauling herself up from the floor into a standing position. For the second time in our lives, we witness this pivotal moment. All has changed and changed utterly and a terrible beauty has born. Thus Spake Zarathustra is playing. The monkey from 2001: A Space Odyssey is banging on the ground with a tapir’s shin-bone and thinking “I’m on the pig’s back now”.