Get me to the church on time but not in a stained T-shirt please

"They wanted it to be the beginning of a long ribbon of holden happiness a happy marriage can deliver"

I arrived at the wedding in a filthy temper and T-shirt. Which is, you will agree, not the right condition to be in when you attend the nuptials of dear friends.

The temper was occasioned by a kid aged about 18 months who sat behind me on the five and a half hour flight from Boston and who kicked the back of my seat. Readers of this page who know me as an infinitely tolerant person will know that for the first hour, I tolerated this, mostly on the basis that little 18-month legs have only so much energy in them and that the child would suddenly fall asleep and peace would break out.