Ireland scuppers the surreal spoof of Brexit

HERE’S a letter from Irene in Manchester, published in the free London tabloid Metro (circulation 1,475,543, owned by the pro-Brexit Daily Mail, and commonly found littering commuter train carriages).

Irene from Manchester thinks that Ireland needs to stop having a border because it’s proving a bit annoying for Britain: “What a mess Brexit is turning out to be, with the DUP making demands at the last minute. Ireland is a small island and should either be part of the UK or independent — it is too small to have borders and causes everyone a headache. It should never have been split. Maybe it’s time they made up their minds — you’re either in or out.”

On Twitter, journalist Damian Mac Con Uladh replied to Irene on behalf of Ireland. “Dear Irene of Manchester, I apologise for being split. I’ll try harder. Best, Ireland.”