She was far too busy flirting to bother with a menopause

Never having had a menopause herself because she “had to have the whole blasted contraption whipped out at 40,” my mother is curious to hear about mine. “So,” she says on the phone, “how’s it going? Are you still boiling to death?”

“Either that or freezing,” I say. “Which is it right now?” my mother says.

“Freezing to death,” I say, “but that could all change in a second. My thermostat is now officially broken.”