Before the lotto came in, Making A Claim was seen as the main reason for someone’s new-found wealth

Here’s how this is going to go. I’m going to go off on one about something. Then someone with a bit of due diligence and facts will calmly cut through the bluster.

Still though, with your permission allow me to rant for a bit. Then, I’ll go back to my box.

I’m talking about the suing.

Compo culture is nothing new here. Years ago if you saw someone driving a new car, you’d say “He must have had an accident.” Back then, before the lotto came in, Making A Claim was seen as the main reason for someone’s new-found wealth.

But increasingly, it seems, we’re claiming again with a vengeance. I say it seems because maybe I’m falling for the rage bait in the papers which delight in stories of people suing their mother because they got a cold from a bed that wasn’t aired properly or suing a baby who wouldn’t smile for them.

Those weren’t actual cases. I’m not going to refer to actual cases in case I get sued for defamation. And don’t get me started on defamation. Watch out the next time you get into a row in a pub or make a hand gesture at a motorist. You could find yourself getting a writ for inflicting emotional and reputational damage.

Rage-bait or no, we have a problem here. It’s not the only reason premiums are so high of course.

Blaming fraudsters for all high premiums is a bit like blaming the odd dole-cheat for the entire economic collapse and ignoring the clowns in Anglo who borrowed billions from themselves to buy shares in themselves. Insurance companies are only delighted public attention is not focussing on them but instead, throwing shade at people in neck braces.

BUT … as this is a rant, it’s going to be light on forensic accounting and heavy on generalisation. So let’s have a twin-track approach. If someone else could find out what the insurance companies make that would be great. I’ll just take aim at compo culture.

There needs to be a disincentive to pursue cases that are nonsense. What happened to perjury as a deterrent? If you’re caught lying in court about a car crash isn’t that a crime? One person going to jail for perjury might dissuade others.

And what about the solicitor who brings this gobshitery to court? Is there any disincentive to them? How about a warning system that punishes those who repeatedly encourage chancers to go to court.

When it comes to whiplash do you have to give out the fifteen grand immediately? How about a few bob to get them over the hump with reassessments every so often.

Those with whiplash will continue to get paid. Those who are a pain in the neck as opposed to having one, unless they can find a shady doctor, will be told quietly to procreate with themselves.

Could we have mandatory classes in taking ownership of our own actions? We’ve plenty of sources to tell us about our civil rights.

What about a civil responsibility march? (Once you’ve sorted out the public liability insurance for it of course and made sure everyone has signed the safety statement.)

And finally what about adopting a general principle in law that, notwithstanding your basic common sense rights to be safe and looked after by a third party, there is enshrined in jurisprudence something called There You Go, Shit Happens. Life is full of random occurrences. You can’t sue gravity or God or a fox. Children fall and graze their legs. Nature is irregularly shaped. If you cycle into a parked car, it’s probably your fault.

Structures designed to hold dinners on top of them have legs underneath.

Obviously I retract all of this in case I’ve offended anyone.