Cork dads grieving for their babies after stillbirth or neonatal death team up to play football

The national Féileacáin Fathers preparing to fly to England for a match against a similar UK charity. The Cork team is playing Transplant Football Ireland in St Colman's Park, Cobh, on February 15 at 5.30pm. 

More than 30 bereaved Cork fathers have used soccer to unite them and support each other through their grief and they are urging others in a similar position to join them.

The new team, which plays a charity match on February 15, is part of national stillbirth and neonatal death support charity Féileacáin.

There is also a national team, with more regional teams planned including in Kerry.

Kenney Purcell, who lives in Mayfield in Cork, said it is the best support network he has found.

“This and my family’s support saved my life in a way,” he said.

He has found it is easier to talk to men in the same situation.

“It really does help with your mental health,” he said. “Men don’t talk at all about things like this.

“It’s tough and there’s the pain of watching my partner in pain.

“You’re seeing her in bits and there’s nothing you can do or say to make it easier for her.”

He explained the sadness which hit the couple.

“We lost our child in March 2023. He was a boy — Kenneth Junior — it was on Patrick’s Day,” he said.

“Kenneth Junior was 20 weeks in the womb, but he stopped growing at 13 weeks.”

He remembers holding their baby, saying: “He fitted in the palm of my hand.”

The couple and his partner’s children had support from Féileacáin and he later heard about the football.

“Since I joined the team it is getting easier to talk and open up.

“I would never have talked about Kenneth Junior before I met these lads. But now even though it hurts I can tell them part of our own story, how we went through it,” he said.

Each football shirt has the player’s own baby’s name on it.

“The mother will always be the most important person in this situation, but there is a silent pain there for dads too,” he said.

“The team is a public service, we go to the games and have the laugh, we might have a pizza and have a chat. There is no pressure on anyone but the support is always there.

”Some members found news last week of reviews into babies’ care in Galway difficult.

“It’s never easy when there are little babies involved,” he said.

Tony Owens, who is grieving for his son Arthur, founded a national team in Dublin with over 86 members from 22 counties.

“Our first game was in 2022 and it’s been a great success,” he said.

“Men aren’t great talkers. They don’t want to attend meetings and talk about their feelings but when they have an outlet and can go to matches, they talk more freely then.”

He has seen people who might not know what to say to men in this situation.

“It’s a safe environment,” he said, adding that men are welcome whether their baby died recently or years ago.

They have played against Sands United, a men’s football team in England which also grew from a bereavement support charity, and others. 

• More information about Féileacáin Fathers and the game on February 15 can be found on instagram.com/feileacainfathers.