'Heartless and cruel' — father of stillborn baby hits out at maternity restrictions

Distraught father said he was told by the security guard to leave after rushing with his partner to maternity A&E

One dad described how security guards at Cork University Maternity Hospital did not allow him to attend to his partner when their baby's heartbeat stopped at 38 weeks and five days.

Expectant parents continue to share harrowing examples of separation caused by Covid-19 visiting restrictions.

Cork-based maternity advocate Linda Kelly has been contacted by many distressed couples, tweeting their experiences under the hashtag #BetterMaternityCare.

One dad described how security guards at Cork University Maternity Hospital did not allow him to attend to his partner when their baby's heartbeat stopped at 38 weeks and five days.

He wrote: “When we rushed to maternity A&E on the night we couldn’t feel movement, I rushed in with my partner at 21.30 to be told by the guy at the desk after we gave our details that I’d have to wait outside.“ 

The man wrote that he was used to waiting in the nearby Wilton Shopping Centre during previous appointments, but at this time HSE guidelines allowed partners attend emergency presentations.

The distraught father said he was told by the security guard to leave. “He said ‘the big boys below would throw me out’. He used those exact terms,” the man said saying the guard at the door meant guards further inside the hospital would remove him if he went in.

“I left and I went back to the car, and I was so upset,” he said. 

By the time a midwife phoned him to come in, his wife had already been told alone their baby’s heartbeat had stopped.

“How can this carry on,” he wrote. “We are broke but nothing hurts more than the thought of receiving that news alone in such heartless and cruel circumstances.” 

The hospital in this example has not yet responded to a request for comment.

Among the online reactions was a note from a woman who attended a different hospital. She wrote: “We went through similar experiences when our first baby was stillborn at 27 weeks. She was also due in July. Thoughts with you both at this extremely difficult time.” 

Chair of maternity advocacy group AIMS Ireland, Krysia Lynch, said many fathers have also written to them, describing how disenfranchised they feel.

One man about to be a father for the second time wrote to AIMS this week: “I don’t want to be the dad in the car.” 

He wrote: “I need to be there to reassure her and for our unborn son. I feel outside the loop this time, useless even. The stress these restrictions are having on my partner is making me extremely angry as she shouldn’t be in that situation.” 

The HSE has said up to now six stillbirths and one late miscarriage have been linked here to Covid Placentitis.

It has also been linked to four or more ‘near’ miscarriages meaning where early intervention or delivery was required to save the baby’s life.