'Parental rights are not equal for all same-sex couples'

Isaac, Yvonne, Theresa and Darcy pictured on October 12, 2020, as they celebrate receiving parental recognition in Midleton District court.
Theresa and Yvonne Nolan met in 2010. Three years later they entered a civil partnership, and in 2015 they married while Yvonne was pregnant on their first child.
Whilst their process of IVF was long and sometimes turbulent, overall they felt ānothing but support from everyoneā.
However, their experience opened their eyes to other same-sex couples having children and how itās not always as easy as it should be.
The pair underwent IVF with Waterstone ā a fertility clinic in Cork. Given Theresaās struggle to get pregnant, Yvonne was going to be the biological mother of both theyāre children, Darcy and Isaac.
But for the parents, it wasnāt going to be as easy as one might expect it to be. It was going to take a letter from the clinic to say their child was born through a certain method and Yvonne placing her hand over the bible in a court of law for Theresa to be granted parental rights of their children.
"I would often think to myself āif something happened to Yvonne what would happen with our childrenā and that fear is constant until you know you have those rights,ā added Theresa.
Even though Theresa and Yvonne would describe their experience as ābetter than what others have to go through,ā they had to wait five years for Theresa to get parental rights for her children.
After the marriage referendum in May 2015, there was a natural assumption that all aspects around equality for LGBTQI+ people and their families were taken care of and were equal to same-sex couples, but five years later, Part 2 and Part 3 of the Children and Family Relationships Act were still anticipating commencement in May 2020.
During that time, many families struggled with convoluted legal frameworks, the courts system, and rights for parents in families who are not biologically connected to their children, like Theresa, even though the Civil Registration Act of 2019 provided a framework for the registration of a same-sex female couple as parents of a child born through donor conception.
This means that SOME same-sex female couples can be registered on their childās birth certificates.
However, many families are still not covered by this Act, including two male parents, people who have had home inseminations, used a known donor, reciprocal IVF, as well as those who have used surrogacy or were treated abroad.
But some may not have an option but to travel abroad, leaving them in a situation of uncertainty. In simpler terms, the rights of same-sex couples depends on how their child was conceived.
āItās the affordability aspect that will force a lot of couples to travel abroad, and that isnāt covered under the legislation, it has to be in a clinic in the state. IVF is also very expensive which automatically eliminates people who canāt afford it,ā said Yvonne.
The drawbacks arenāt just in legislation, but also in the granular aspects of society such as documents, forms, and policies.
āWe find that, in our experience, our local schools have been very supportive, however the language in forms may not be.ā For Theresa and Yvonne, making the decision to carry out their IVF within Ireland stood to them massively, even though there was still a rigmarole involved in the process.
āAlthough the judge wished us the very best of luck, I was shaking having to take the stand, I felt so nervous,ā said Yvonne.
āThe legislation that was passed was rushed and the wording should have been straightened out. Thereās a lot of work still to be done. A lot of families donāt have what we have. Weāre lucky that our case fits within the limits.
āThere are plenty more parents who are still campaigning for the rights of their children and there are more parents who donāt have parental rights than those who do. Itās a pity good things can sometimes take a long come through,ā said Theresa.
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