Mother-of-eight secures barring order against ex-partner over coercive control

Woman accused of sleeping with other men and called 'a whore and prostitute' in front of their children.

The woman told the court her ex-partner 'hasn’t stopped trying to make me cry and breaking me down constantly in front of my kids'. Picture: iStock

A judge has granted a barring order for five years to a mother of eight children after finding that her ex-partner engaged in coercive control.

At the Family Law court in Ennis, the woman stated that her ex-partner accused her of sleeping with other men and called her "a whore and prostitute" in front of their children.

Granting the five-year barring order, Judge Mary Larkin said she doesn’t know when the mother of eight young children “has time to breathe, let alone have relationships with other men”.

Judge Larkin told the man: “How do you think she has time to go with other fellas and she has eight children to look after?” 

The woman had told the court her ex-partner “hasn’t stopped trying to make me cry and breaking me down constantly in front of my kids”.

“I am worried about the long-term psychological damage that this is doing to my children being brought up in this environment.” 

She said of one recent flashpoint between the two at the family home: “He said in front of my children that he has been checking my underwear and he knows that I have been sleeping with other men. My children were upset and crying.” 

She said she rang a domestic violence helpline and a social worker on the line "listened to my children crying and him roaring around the house saying that I am no good of a mother, that I don’t clean the house, and that I am only a whore and a prostitute”.

The woman said the social worker “told me five times to hang up and ring the gardaí.

"I phoned the gardaí thinking ‘enough is enough, it has to end somewhere’."

She said that since the man left the family home, her life has been peaceful and her house has started to feel like a home, but over the last number of days, her ex-partner “has been standing across the road emotionally manipulating my children getting them upset and being worried about him”.

“He is standing there in the rain, shivering, telling the children that I have put him out of the house because I want to be in a relationship with another man.” 

The woman also alleged that her ex-partner has threatened “to get me sorted” by his cousins.

The woman stated that the two broke up a number of months ago but that her ex-partner can’t accept that it is over.

In evidence, the man stated: “I never said I would get my family to beat her up. I have never touched her.” 

He admitted calling her “a whore and a prostitute” but said he was angry when he said it during the height of an argument.