Meet the new generation of Irish funeral directors reshaping a traditional industry
Joe Twomey is among a growing number of first-generation funeral directors changing the face of the industry. In recent years, he quit his lucrative career in quantity surveying for a vocation he had long dreamed of. Picture: Noel Sweeney
At an age when most boys idolise footballers, Joseph Twomey recalled sending fan mail to a funeral director whose career he had been following for some time.
The 27-year-old said that working in O’Connors Funeral Home in Cork’s North Gate Bridge had been a dream of his for as long as he could remember.
He described how seeing Val O’Connor at the funeral of a neighbour was a life defining moment for him. From that day forward, the respected figure — who later passed away in 2019 — became a source of inspiration for Joseph.
“I was 13 years old when my dad tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to this man with snow white hair," he told the .
"That man turned out to be Val O’Connor. I could instantly see how much respect he had. I wondered what it was he did to get that kind of respect from people.
"From there on in, I observed him at every funeral he was at. At 15 years old, I wrote Val a letter telling him how well respected he was. I also expressed an interest in the funeral industry. I wanted to help families at the most difficult time of their lives, just like he did."
He said one day he came home and his sister told him he had missed call from Val O’Connor.
"I couldn’t believe that a man this busy had taken the time to call me. You don’t expect to get a letter like that from a 15-year-old. He wanted to let me know how grateful he was and how much he appreciated the letter. His son Finbarr later organised a week of work experience for me with O’Connors," he added.
Joseph is among a growing number of first-generation funeral directors changing the face of the industry. In recent years, he quit his lucrative career in quantity surveying for a vocation he had long dreamed of.
It comes as the Irish Association of Funeral Directors says more first-generation funeral directors are registering with it than ever before. The association reported that, in 2010, first-generational funeral directors accounted for 60% of the students on their education course. Of the students who completed their education course in 2024, less than 10% came from family run firms.
Joseph was among those who completed the training, learning vital skills including embalming and supporting families of the bereaved. The funeral director insists he has no regrets about embarking on the unconventional career change.
Reflecting on the transition he said: “It came to Leaving Cert, and I was lucky to have a lot of choices.
"My other love was music, but I decided on quantity surveying in the end which led me to the UK. If I could have made two lives, I would have stayed there, but I realised I only had one. While I loved the job there, it was never my dream.”
His passion for the funeral industry only grew stronger with each day.
“I wrote a diary every day, and it always came back to seeing that man at the funeral in Donoughmore. Over the years, he had done such good work for families. I wanted to do the same.”
Lisa Dillane, from Tralee, is just starting out after leaving her job as a professional singer to pursue a career as an embalmer. The 37 year-old's path into the industry was also unconventional.
“I have a 15-year-old son, so I did motherhood in my twenties. In some ways I’m doing things the opposite way to everyone else, because I’m only doing what I want to do for myself now. I was teaching singing privately and singing at funerals, which gave me an insight into the industry," she said.
"My ambition goes back a lot further than that, however. I remember the first time I thought about what happened behind the scenes.
"I was 11 years old when the grandmother of my friend died, and I had to attend her funeral. I had worked myself up so much about seeing the open coffin. There was no Google back then, so I had no way of preparing myself.
"I was bracing myself for something horrific, but my first thought when I saw the woman who had died was about the person who made her look so beautiful."
She said, for her, that moment was such an eye-opener.
"In later years, while singing, I saw first-hand the very important work of funeral directors and embalmers," she added.
It was when her son Christopher got older and no longer needed as much care that Lisa decided to take the plunge professionally.
She is now training under the mentorship of one of Ireland’s best known funeral directors and embalmers, Sligo-based David McGowan.
“I’ve been learning about embalming for the last two months and working in different funeral homes, she said.
"I did a degree in music and specialised in the voice. A lot of the anatomy in the voice is similar to embalming, because you are working with the thoracic arteries, a lot on the throat, and the upper chest. I would have learned about these areas previously while studying anatomy for my music degree.”
She stressed that there is so much more to being an embalmer than just hair and make-up.
“Of course you have the hair and make-up, but there is also a lot of very scientific stuff that happens behind the scenes to make the person really beautiful and peaceful," she said.
"Even with the rise in cremations in Ireland, people are still having wakes and using funeral homes.”
Lisa said that some people have misconceptions about embalming.
“There are people out there who think that it must be really gory, but that’s not the case," she said.
"We speak to the deceased by name and how we feel their loves ones would want them to be spoken to. The goal is to help them look well, but we also want to give them their dignity too. It’s a nice atmosphere.
"The embalmer creates that atmosphere for everyone involved. Very often these are people who have been in nursing homes, and you are the last person to take care of them. While it’s hard work, what’s achieved at the end is phenomenal.
"This is a time that you are going to be seen by the most people. Not everyone is going to turn up for your birthday but they will turn up for your funeral.”
She said the work of an embalmer normally stays under the radar.
“You have to be happy with what you’ve done and what you have achieved. It’s not something you would ever do for your own glory. You have to be happy in the knowledge that you did a good job without anyone ever knowing it was you.
"In a way, you’re like Banksy because it’s so discreet.”
The president of the Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD), Niamh Sweeney, spoke of the dramatic changes impacting the industry.
“In the past, funeral directors were small, family-run firms, often with sideline businesses like a grocery shop or public house," she said.
"This can still be said of a lot of rural funeral directors. However, many of the larger towns and cities have busier firms, which are still family owned, but require more staff and often have multiple premises.
"While these firms still maintain the traditions and personal touches that have always been expected of their family firm, they have been happy to recruit people from outside their family and the profession, offering training and support to guide them into their new role.
"The IAFD runs a training course for its members through which the next generation of funeral directors can learn the profession.”
She spoke of how the role of funeral directing has evolved over time.
“Like many professions, the funeral services have experienced significant changes in recent years. The funeral director is no longer expected to merely provide a coffin and the use of a hearse for the occasion. The duty of arranging and managing every aspect of the funeral now falls to them, including the care and presentation of the deceased, the various different forms of media, the list goes on.
"Once considered a closed shop, there are now many people from all walks of life working within the funeral services. With them come fresh perspectives and a wealth of skills and knowledge.
"Some are young, starting out in their working life and learning from the ground up. Others come from careers like caring professions, all with previous experience of dealing with the public in a calm and compassionate manner.”
