'Mary Regan got her wish: She came home and is back with her people'

Some 300 people attended when funeral director Rory Healy went on social media and asked locals in Carlow to attend Mary Regan's funeral. Picture: RIP.ie

“She got her wish, she came home and is back with her people,” the priest who celebrated Mass for Mary Regan before her burial in West Cork said on Wednesday.

Ms Regan, 89, from Adrigole in West Cork died on Friday at Hillview Nursing Home in Co. Carlow with no known relatives at the time.

But more than 300 people attended her funeral after an appeal on social media by a funeral director who was concerned very few people may be present.

Fr Martin Sheehan celebrated Mass for Ms Regan before she was buried in the cemetery adjoining St Fachtna’s Church in her native Adrigole in West Cork.

“A gentleman called me about a year and a half ago, her partner I think, he said she wanted to be buried here. She wanted to come home," Fr Sheehan said.

“She’s in a lovely corner of the graveyard with her family now. I’m sure she’s very happy with it there. We’re delighted she’s back home."

“It’s a lovely spot down here, it’s heaven on earth.” 

Some 70 to 80 local people turned out for Ms Regan’s funeral Mass in Adrigole after a message was sent out on Whatsapp to the parish on Tuesday evening, telling them about the special Mass.

St  Fachtna's church in Adrigole on the Beara peninsula. Fr Martin Sheehan said: 'She’s in a lovely corner of the graveyard with her family now. I’m sure she’s very happy with it there. We’re delighted she’s back home.' File picture: Richard Mills

“It was a lovely gathering of the community,” Fr Sheehan said.

“Her nephews live here. They’re nice, quiet people.

“Her grandniece did the readings. She was the only person in the church under 40. People came who knew her and who knew her family.

“She was here two years ago for her brother’s funeral. She was a nice lady, elderly, in a wheelchair. But there was a touch of glamour about her. I thought she was probably a very glamorous lady in her day.

“We can learn so much from our elderly people, from their goodness, their faith. They have been through so much and have seen so much."

He said life is changing very fast and religion is changing very fast "but the main thing is that people still look out for each other".

What the undertaker did up there [in Carlow] was brilliant. She wasn’t on her own. 

Ms Regan had lived in Carlow for several years and since the passing of her late partner Frederick 'Tony' Lang, over a year ago, the west Cork native had no next-of-kin.

Funeral Director Rory Healy went on social media and asked locals in Carlow to spare a few minutes of their time to attend her funeral before she was returned home to west Cork to be buried.

"Let's not send Mary off from Carlow alone," Mr Healy said in an online appeal. And the people of Carlow responded.

Ms Regan was predeceased by siblings Paddy, Con, Patricia, and Jerry.

Friends have described her as a glamorous lady who was adored by her late partner, Fred.

Ms Regan’s former hairdresser said she was “a beautiful and elegant lady who was adored by her late partner. 

Sallyanne O’Sullivan regularly styled her hair before she moved into a nursing home and said Mary “took great care of herself". 

“I would have known her from Anno Hair and Beauty in Carlow where I first met her and did her hair,” she told the Irish Examiner.

“David Marshall in Dublin trained me, and I worked in Peter Marks on Grafton Street and Mary had her hair done by him, he is a top hairdresser, and she clearly mixed in circles there because I understand she worked as a stylist.

“She kept herself so lovely and would come in for facials, she really looked after herself, had good taste and got her hair and nails done regularly and she had the best of clothes."

“She liked to have her hair coloured and knew her own style and cuts, she was very particular.

Mary was lovely to deal with, and focused on what she wanted, and I always did my best. 

Ms O’Sullivan described how whenever Mary Regan came into the salon her late partner Fred would treat her “like a queen".

“Fred was also a very well-dressed man,” she said. “He wore a handkerchief in his pocket and maybe a little chain around his neck, whatever way he dressed it was very cool, they were a very smart, good-looking couple.

“He would hold the door open for her, or link her, and when he died in November last year, it was very sad. They were very close.

“She was mixing in fashion circles during her career and would often travel to the UK, and she would have beautiful clothes coming back with vibrant colours, and she wore the colour green a lot.

“The photo of Mary online doesn’t do her justice; she was stunning and so stylish and so was he. It sounds like a sad story, but really, it’s a lovely tribute to her, she was very well liked."

“She loved her partner, and she was very good to him, she was loved by a lot of people, and I thought how lucky she was to have Fred, if we were all treated like that wouldn’t that be lovely, she was very special to him.

“He adored her, and she adored him, they were very happy together and obviously he passed on and that would have been very hard.” 

Another close friend, Pauline Smith said Mary was a “humble and deeply religious woman” who attended Mass every day.

“I knew Mary around 15 years,” she said. “I met her in Mass in Carlow Cathedral where she used to go to Mass too.

“She had these white plastic rosary beads; I had just come back from Medjugorje, and I gave her new ones. Then I met her again at Mass and I said, ‘You are not using the one I gave you.’ 

“She had a very strong Cork accent, and she said they were too precious, so kept them at home safe.

She was a woman who didn’t possess much, and worked hard her whole life, she worked with the poor on a voluntary basis and also worked for others in her career.

“As long as I knew her, she wore tartan skirts and jackets, she liked her Sunday best and she loved her haircuts and going to Mass, that is how I would remember her."

“When she fell ill, Fred would bring communion to her every day in the nursing home.” 

Fred passed away on November 27, 2023, at the District hospital and an online obituary said he was the loving partner of Mary and is survived by his son and daughter.

“Sadly, nobody knew Fred was ill and we learned after his death that he went into the hospital in Carlow, but he never told anyone and died there,” said Pauline.

“We were absolutely shocked, nobody knew. Mary was in hospital, and I don’t think she knew he died, she had dementia in the end. I visited her in the nursing home too."

Pauline said her friend was kind and loved to help others: 

Mary used to say to me if she could do something for others ‘then my living shall not be in vain' she wanted to help others, and she was gentle and reserved.

“She had one brother up until last year and when she got sick, it was very hard for Fred. We said to him, that he did the best he could, and that it was now time to let her go and let people who are capable of minding her take over.

“He struggled so badly letting her go into hospital, he drove her everywhere and he would say would you look out for her now won’t you Pauline.

“He never told anyone that he was sick. Not a single person and everybody got a shock his RIP notice went up online, at that stage he was dead and buried.

“Mary was too since to understand. To see the response even from abroad about Mary, saying they would go the Mass if they could, everyone was astonished at the crowd it was just a wonderful setting.

“There was a man there he sang a Carlow song, he wouldn’t get up on to the microphone, he sang it so beautifully and he did that for Fred and Mary.

“It was just so beautiful, and it was a lovely way to remember a humble religious woman who was a faithful servant of god and who did good things.

“Her motto was if you can’t help someone what are you on this earth for".

Fr Tom Little who presided over the funeral with Fr Tommy Dillon told the Irish Examiner that it was a “beautiful service in Carlow and a great turnout". 

“I knew Mary a very long time” he said. “We were really glad to see such a great show of community at the service.

“We were pleased we changed the time; it was due to be on at 11am but we put the service on at 9:30am.

“I used to talk to her a lot and she was a lovely woman; the Carlow people are good, and I hope Mary is in heaven.”