Domestic abuse survivor finally feels 'free' and is 'looking ahead' after ex-garda husband jailed

Meav McLoughlin-Doyle: 'The worst part was the intimidation every single day'. Picture: Collins

Domestic abuse survivor Meav McLoughlin-Doyle finally “feels free” and is “looking ahead” after her ex-husband, former garda Mark, was jailed for six years last week.

Doyle, 38, who put his ex-wife and stepsons through “horror after horror” over a 12-year period, pleaded guilty to six charges of assault causing harm, between September 2007 and August 2019.

Ms McLoughlin-Doyle who says she has “taken back control”, is determined to find a new place to live as she claims her current home is “totally poisoned". 

“It is horrific. There’s not one room in the house that we go into without a bad memory, and that can get in on you when you’re there all the time.

“Nobody comes to the house any more; my older children don’t visit," she said.

“It’s like living in a shelter; it’s somewhere that I go to sleep and eat, but it’s not a home any more," she said.

Recalling some of the abuse she experienced under that roof, on RTÉ radio's Oliver Callan Show, Ms McLoughlin-Doyle said “nowhere was safe". 

“There was a lot of incidents, hitting me with the zips of his jacket, cutting my head open, fracturing a bone in my hand, kicking me with boots while I was on the ground. It’s a horror story, the list is endless.

Ms McLoughlin-Doyle said she used to walk up the stairs on the wall side so her ex-husband couldn’t grab her through the bannisters or pull her leg to make her trip.

However, she claims “the worst part was the intimidation every single day".

According to Ms McLoughlin-Doyle, your home is supposed to be your safe space, but when “somebody is constantly harassing you, there is no escape". 

Because Mr Doyle was a garda by profession, she was afraid to report any incidents of domestic abuse.

Because Mark Doyle was a garda, his ex-wife says she was afraid to report domestic abuse. Picture: Paddy Cummins

“There was always hopelessness with that. That was always the worst for me and the boys. I knew I could never go into a regular Garda station because I just thought word would filter back down to him. There was no way I could just walk in,” she said.

She recalled a time when one of her older sons confided in a guidance counsellor at school.

She said herself and Mark were asked to attend a meeting and he turned up to the appointment in his full Garda uniform, and in a Garda car.

“He kind of rocked in with an 'I’m a guard, I have an important job, I don’t have time for teenage attention-seeking wishy-washy guidance counsellors', kind of attitude.

An authority figure coming in like that holds weight, and it made the boys feel so helpless, disclosing information to an adult they trust in school, and it amounts to nothing.

Ms McLoughlin-Doyle believes that her ex-husband set himself up as a “pillar of the community” because he was a garda, a local scout leader, and earlier in his career, a member of the Defence Forces.

In the end, Ms McLoughlin-Doyle said it was an interview with the mother of murdered Clodagh Hawe that pushed her to seek help.

“I seen her mam and sister being interviewed and they were describing the family and suspicions they had, and it started to click with me that I was living with the same kind of person," she said.

“It really hit home with me, and the part that really hit home was that he also was a pillar of the community. He was a school principal, he was helping out with local GAA teams, and Mark was similar.

“So when I seen Clodagh's mother articulate the red flags, it started to click with me that I was living in the same situation.

“That was 2016, and it took me another three years to actually find my way out, but that was a really powerful moment for me.

I started to recognise I was in serious trouble, and how dangerous Mark was, and how dangerous he'd become.

While Ms McLoughlin-Doyle is looking forward to building a new life for herself while her ex-husband is behind bars, she is nervous about what the future holds.

“I do feel free, but there’s still something in the back of my mind," she said. “He was so arrogant all along, always trying to push things, always trying to control the narrative, even when there were things like barring orders in place.

“So, I hope, even in years to come, please God he’ll stay away, and won’t try make contact,” she said.