New shop showing 'darker side of love' to open on St Valentine's Day

Women’s Aid said visitors to this creative space in the city will see grim Valentine’s gifts such as love-heart balloons with messages like ‘Let me see your phone’, a GPS tracker disguised as a necklace and red roses with similar dark messages. Picture: Paul Sharp/Sharpix

A sinister new pop-up shop opens in Dublin on St Valentine’s Day to highlight the “darker side of love” and the red flags of intimate relationship abuse.

Women’s Aid said visitors to this creative space in the city will see grim Valentine’s gifts such as love-heart balloons with messages like ‘Let me see your phone’, a GPS tracker disguised as a necklace and red roses with similar dark messages.

'From years of supporting young women subjected to abuse, Women’s Aid knows that it can hide in relationships that appear romantic on the surface.' Picture: Paul Sharp/Sharpix

The charity said the contents of the shop would challenge perceptions about “love” and “romance” and prompt conversations about intimate relationship abuse, while also pointing young people towards information and support.

Mary Hayes, who leads the charity’s Too Into You campaign, said it was important to highlight these “seemingly romantic behaviours” and their impacts.

“From years of supporting young women subjected to abuse, Women’s Aid knows that it can hide in relationships that appear romantic on the surface,” she said.

Our hope is that it prompts reflection and discussion about how young people are treated in their intimate relationships and to inspire them to learn more about the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviours.

Opening on Mary Street in Dublin city centre on Wednesday, it opens a four-week campaign for Women’s Aid running through to International Women’s Day on March 8, the same day as the upcoming family and care referendums.

Red flags

Ms Hayes said for many young people, the kind of red flags being highlighted by the campaign such as love bombing or gaslighting can be difficult to spot, particularly for those in their first relationship, as they have nothing to compare it to.

Love bombing describes bombarding the recipient with extreme displays of attention and affection in order to manipulate them, while gaslighting is where the abuser fills the recipient with self-doubt and confusion about how they are being treated. Picture: Paul Sharp/Sharpix

Love bombing describes bombarding the recipient with extreme displays of attention and affection in order to manipulate them, while gaslighting is where the abuser fills the recipient with self-doubt and confusion about how they are being treated.

“We want young people to know that controlling and abusive behaviours are not normal, and they don’t deserve to be treated like this,” Ms Hayes said.

Women's Aid chief executive Sarah Benson: 'Research on intimate relationship abuse against young women in Ireland found that one in five young women aged 18-25 have been subjected to abuse by a current male partner.' Picture: Gary Ashe/Sharpix

Recent research by Women’s Aid on the topic suggested almost half of young women (44%) subjected to intimate relationship abuse have experienced suicidal thoughts while nearly one fifth (19%) said they had attempted suicide because of the abuse.

“[Our] research on intimate relationship abuse against young women in Ireland found that one in five young women aged 18-25 have been subjected to abuse by a current male partner,” Women’s Aid chief executive Sarah Benson said at the time.

“Eighty four per cent of these young women said that the abuse had a severe impact on them, including suffering low self-esteem/self-worth, enduring anxiety and depression. and being isolated or withdrawn from friends, family, and social events.” 

The charity has also published a new set of video resources funded by Community Foundation Ireland’s Youth Fund, which aims to educate and empower young people about their intimate relationships.

“If we are truly to end abuse and violence then the message must go out loud and clear to everyone that support, assistance and help is available,” Community Foundation Ireland chief executive Denise Charleton said.