'My family wasn't real': Government urged to publish wording for upcoming referendum

Conference held by civil society organisations said it was 'concerned' at the Government’s delay in publishing the wording of the referendum on family, care and gender equality.

In 2021, while she was at work, Maria Doyle’s partner of 18 years, Alan, died suddenly at 38 years of age.

Alan was at home with their daughter Mia, who was 15, and their son Daniel, who was eight at the time.

Despite Mia trying to resuscitate her father until paramedics arrived, he died and the family was thrown into a “horrible situation”.

Since that day, Ms Doyle said the Constitution’s wording has had a “shocking and disgraceful” impact on her life, with her children being “discriminated against”.

“I went about trying to get my affairs in order, so I went to apply for the widow's pension, and I was told I wasn't entitled to it because we weren't married,” she said.

Ms Doyle said they had been living together for 17 years, had a mortgage, and a joint bank account.

“We did everything that you would do in a committed relationship,” she said.

After reading the Constitution, which bases the family unit on marriage, Ms Doyle said it meant her family “wasn’t real”.

Without the widow’s pension, Ms Doyle could not afford childcare and was forced to leave her job as she could not get more family-friendly hours.

She said the current wording of the Constitution was a children’s rights issue, questioning why her children are considered “lesser” to those of married couples.

Ms Doyle said it is too late for her family, but hopes the change in wording will help future families.

She was speaking at a conference held by civil society organisations, including the National Women’s Council (NWC), which said it was “concerned” at the Government’s delay in publishing the wording of the referendum on family, care and gender equality. 

The coalition of five organisations, which also includes Treoir, One Family and Family Carers Ireland, have called for the Government to publish the wording in line with the mandate that they have received through the Citizen's Assembly on Gender Equality.

“Alongside that, there has to be clarity now on the timeline so that we can build that positive public conversation on care and why it's so important and why the diversity of families needs to be recognised,” said NWC director Orla O’Connor.

Treoir chief executive Damien Peelo said 43% (24,754) of births in 2022 were outside of marriage.

“All of these families need and deserve recognition, support and protection by our Constitution,” he said.

Family Carer Ireland’s head of communications Catherine Cox said wording that recognises the societal value of care in the home and the wider community would oblige the State to take reasonable measures to support carers.

“All members of society must have the chance to be informed about the amendments they are being asked to vote on and what these changes can achieve for women, carers, care workers and non-martial families and therefore we must see the proposed wording as a matter of urgency,” she said.

Labour Party Leader and chairperson of the joint committee on gender equality Ivana Bacik said despite cross-party unanimous support for a specific set of words, the Government still has not come forward with the proposed wording.

“The Taoiseach is still saying November but the slippage is very evident and it's really not good enough,” she said.

Ms Bacik said she cannot accept why it is “taking so long” for the inter-party working group to put forward the wording.

On Wednesday, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar said the proposed November date for the votes “still stands”, however, he suggested it may be moved back, as he said Government was “not going to ignore” advice from the Electoral Commission that it needed a longer time frame to organise the referenda.

He said it was likely that there would be two referendums and that there is draft wording for each.

“But that wording hasn’t yet been agreed by Government,” he said.