'Hidden and unspoken, but threat constantly there': Sarah Everard’s death continues to strike a chord with women

People leave floral tributes at the band stand in Clapham Common, London, after the Reclaim These Streets vigil for Sarah Everard was officially cancelled. Photo: Steve Parsons/PA Wire

This article was originally published on March 13, 2021. 

Women all over the world have been deeply impacted by the death of Sarah Everard - a woman murdered while going about her everyday life.

As serving police constable Wayne Couzens, 48, was charged with 33-year-old Sarah Everard's murder appeared in court, and a series of online vigils are planned to celebrate the life of the young woman, Irish Examiner readers continued to share their own personal experiences and why the death of Sarah Everard struck a chord with them.

Couzens was sentenced to a whole life term for the rape and murder of Ms Everard on September 30.

“As a woman it is part of our daily lives.” File picture.

One woman wrote about the constant anxiety she feels when walking alone at night, as Sarah Everard did on March 3, the night she went missing walking home from a friend's house in south London:

“There is a constant underlying anxiety, even when it is not an obvious fear. I feel it walking even in known public places once dusk falls. I know I can’t take my dog on my favourite off-road trail once it darkens.

“Even in daylight, I feel uneasy if a man is behind me on the walk and there are not sufficient other walkers around to make me feel safe. I know it is irrational but it exists. I wonder if I should have worn lighter boots to allow me to try to run and escape.” 

These and other thoughts are constantly there, but never spoken about.

The case has led to a fresh wave of fury, fear and frustration among women, women who see themselves in Sarah Everard.

A common theme in the responses was a sense of subdued resignation at the horrifyingly familiar.

One woman wrote that Ms Everard’s disappearance confirmed “there is an inevitability to these attacks” while another said she felt exhausted at hearing “the same stories” over and over, while knowing “nothing will change.” 

Another respondent wrote she felt “sad for not only this beautiful woman but for me, my daughters and for all women and girls.” Ultimately women felt exasperated that it takes losing the lives of women like Ms Everard for people to talk about male violence toward women: “These stories only highlight what is already there. Hidden and unspoken, but threat constantly there.”

Constant anxiety 

As Everard’s case continues to dominate headlines, many women took to social media to share how they have lived with fear existing in public realms for some time.

One reader said she is concerned about her safety in public places “on a regular basis.” 

“As a woman it is part of our daily lives.” 

Another said she rarely goes out after dark and “hardly ever alone.”  File picture.

A mother, who said she worries “something bad will happen to my daughters at the hands of a violent man” said she is “always calculating levels of risk” when she goes for a walk or a run.

Another said she rarely goes out after dark and “hardly ever alone.” 

“I have lived in cities, been followed in dark streets and once assaulted, not even counting drunk guys making a stupid grab. I now live in the countryside but even with my dog I won't go walking in local woods alone.” 

Women who wrote to the Irish Examiner spoke of how they keep keys clenched in their fists when walking at night, alerting family or friends to where they are when they’re in taxis or out for a walk, and “constantly” performing calculations as to the safety of their surroundings.

Modified behaviour 

We asked women whether stories like Sarah Everard’s cause them to modify their behaviour. Overwhelmingly, women said they have already modified their behaviour.

“My behaviour has been modified all my life,” one woman wrote, “even as a girl I learned to be careful of boys.” 

“I am always on my guard. Always watching. Always listening,” another wrote.

Why must women restrict their freedom in fear of violence? Picture: PA

One woman in her sixties said she has curtailed her “choices and freedom” throughout her life: “I feel a bit less of a target now that I am in my sixties, less unwanted attention or sexual innuendos, but some risk remains.” 

Another woman said, “stories like these tell me I'm right to make sure I'm safe at all times.” 

 Yes. Always. It's part of learning about being a woman.

There was also clear resentment and anger among women, who say they have modified their behaviour but they’re tired of restricting how they live in the world in order to protect themselves.

“I am tired of being scared,” one woman wrote, “we are stuck in the house with lockdown, there is nowhere to go. We need to reclaim public spaces.” 

One woman was inspired and encouraged by women speaking up online, saying, "I'm excited to see where this goes, the young women of today are destined for amazing things, they are so different to us, they are breaking through glass ceilings every day. Let's give them their voice to change the world."

Amid the fear, sadness and anger, a question was raised again and again by the respondents to the Irish Examiner's call for submissions.

Why do women have to restrict their freedom in fear of violence?