Same-sex couples: Finally we can say 'we are married couples'
Ireland has seen its first same-sex marriages around the country today.
An otherwise-unremarkable waiting area in a HSE-run building on the outskirts of Clonmel has made history by becoming the venue for the country’s first same-sex marriage, thanks to the union of Richard Dowling and Cormac Gollogly early this morning.
The couple became civil partners in Kilshane House in Co Tipperary in September and waited for the Marriage Act 2015 to officially become law to become the first couple to avail of its provisions, as passed by referendum earlier in the year.
As they had already enjoyed a grand day out in front of family and friends in September, the Dublin-based couple decided to keep today’s ceremony low-key, exchanging their vows before registrar Mary-Claire Heffernan and two witnesses, Jane McLoughlin and Vitaliy Halstyan of Kilshane House.
“We got civil partnered on the 18th of September and all our family and friends were there, that was really our wedding day,” Richard Dowling explained after this morning’s ceremony was over.
“This is formalising the legalities of our marriage. We wanted to try and get in the history books and be first across the line.”
They were originally hoping, once the marriage equality referendum was passed, that September’s event would entail their own marriage but when the legislation wasn’t in place by then, decided to proceed with the civil partnership ceremony and then have a marriage ceremony when it became legal.
“We were in Kilshane for a charity event at the weekend, for the Jack and Jill Foundation, and contacted [registrar] Mary-Claire a month ago to see if, by any chance the law commenced during that month, was there any way we could do the paperwork in time,” Cormac Gollogly, a barrister from Dublin said.
“The system was only up and running at the weekend and we weren’t even sure on Monday morning if the notice would go up on the system. But we were here very early this morning to make sure we were first on the system and we are first in the country.”
Richard Dowling is originally from Athlone and now based in Dublin, and both of the men’s mothers - Rosemary Ryan and Kathleen Rafter - are originally from Tipperary, hence the link with Kilshane and Clonmel for the happy occasions.
This morning’s ceremony went ahead just after 8.30am, in a small area normally used by clients of the HSE’s community services who are waiting to meet with registration staff or to avail of other facilities available in the building close to South Tipperary General Hospital on Clonmel’s Western Road.
Did the couple mind having their historic event in such an unglamorous location? “No,” Richard said. “We had done the glamorous venue. This was just nice.”
Cormac added: “It was just the legalities for us.”
Richard proposed to Cormac, “down on one knee,” over six years in the scenic Spanish coastal town of Sitges, near Barcelona, but had to wait until their intentions became law this year.
Were they confident the vote would be a “yes” from the electorate? “No,” they both said. “The campaign was really helpful,” Cormac added. “I really wanted to thank everyone in the Yes Equality campaign, their hard work really paid off. Our friends were flying home to vote from London and Australia and Richard’s two brothers, who had never voted, both registered to vote.”
After the formalities were complete, it was off for a cup of coffee before braving the rain and heading back to Dublin where the newlyweds hoped to enjoy a celebratory lunch. “We did the honeymoon,” Richard said. “We went to the Maldives already. We had a fabulous time.”
Another couple, Wayne Gough and David O'Hanlon, say it is a special day for them and their families.
The couple, who have been together for nine years, celebrated their civil partnership in Donegal in September and today they are back in Harvey's Point for their wedding.
Wayne says it means a lot to them to have their marriage recognised.
He said: "Today is really the final step in that process where now we can say as a couple that we are going to be a married couple and we are a married couple moving forward into our future.
"So I think all our guests and our family and friends who have joined us on this journey are just enjoying the fact that they are getting nearly two months of a wedding celebration."
The couple, who live in the little village of Lordship, near Carlingford, Co. Louth, had a simple wedding before registrar Siobhan Duffy-Brown.
Accountant DJ, 41, and Wayne, 40, a ground-handling company boss at Dublin Airport, wed at a lakeside pier where they got engaged just over a year ago.
Wayne, a native of Glengormley, Co. Antrim, said: “We have both been holidaying in Donegal for years. We have been together nine years since a friend introduced us in Belfast.
“Harvey’s has been on our agenda for a long time because we just love the scenery here.”
The hotel staff actually helped set up the proposal. In September 2014 the staff quietly arranged a table and silver plate with champagne on the pier.
The pair went for a quiet walk in the moonlight and DJ was steered towards the pier where he thought the table was a “left-over” from a party in the hotel. Wayne eventually persuaded him to lift the silver lid off the top of the plate.
He did, and words written in chocolate said: “DJ, will you marry me?” At the same time Wayne dropped to his bended knee to repeat the proposal.
Both remember there was a lovely moon that night and they were alone on the pier, with the hotel staff peering out the windows.
At that stage they didn’t know a referendum in May would give them the right to a same-sex marriage so they went ahead with plans for a civil partnership.
By the time the referendum was passed they had arranged for a civil partnership in Harvey’s Point on September 25 with 130 guests already invited so they went ahead with it.
But they wanted total commitment and they arranged for a quick full marriage before 30 guests when the final stages of the Marriage Bill 2015 became law yesterday.
They said when the referendum was passed in May they were both in Dublin Castle for the count and to be a part of the national celebration.
Their biggest disappointment is the Yes vote wasn’t law in time for their civil partnership ceremony on September 25.
Wayne said: “But now it’s happened and we’re totally excited and ecstatic that we are married. We don’t know if we are first in Ireland but we are definitely first in the north-west. Apart from today’s ceremony we plan to have another party for more guests later in the week. We want to keep the party going.”
They both wore navy Paul Costello tuxedos. Wayne’s sister Karen Morrison and DJ’s sister Linda Duffy were groomsmaids.
Today is the first day for same-sex marriage after couples were able to register their intention to wed from Monday.
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