Thomas Ruttle funeral: ‘Let our grief be a grief without bitterness’

Mourners at the funeral of Thomas Ruttle, the 56-year-old Co Limerick man who died in a suicide pact with his partner, Julia Holmes, 63, were told yesterday this was not the time for blame and anger.

Addressing a congregation at St Mary’s Church of Ireland in Askeaton, Rev Kenneth Scott said they had come to express their grief and shock, adding: “Let our grief be a grief without bitterness, or blame. Carrying all that was unfinished away from here today will drag us into darkness and become a burden which will hamper us and all that we do for the rest of our lives.”

He said their sorrow was all the more intense due to the almost incomprehensible events surrounding Thomas’ death. The couple’s bodies were discovered by three burglars who broke into the Ruttle family home at Bouliglass, Askeaton in the early hours of May 18.

The couple had been dead for a number of weeks.

Thomas Ruttle, 56, first met Julia Holmes, 63, on the internet four years ago. It is understood he didn’t know of her fraudulent acts.

Ms Holmes’ body is still at the mortgue at University Hospital Limerick as relatives in the North of Ireland refuse to accept her remains for burial. West Limerick coroner, Brendan Nix may now have to organise a ‘pauper’s funeral’ for her.

Mr Ruttle was unaware that Ms Holmes was an international fraudster when he met her on the internet over four years ago. She falsely claimed to locals that they had married; letters found after their deaths stated they wished to be buried together.

The mourners at yesterday’s funeral included Mr Ruttle’s sons from a previous relationship, Ian and Kelvin; his sisters Joan and Claire and brother Edward. He was buried in the church cemetery alongside his parents Bill and Nellie.

Rev Scott, in his sermon said when a sudden death like this occurs, there is a sense that those who knew Mr Ruttle had failed him.

He added: “That somehow there was something we should have done, something we missed, or something that we wish we could now take back, that we did or said which we should not have done or said. Hindsight is 20/20 vision. Afterwards we see clearly and then comes the blame, contempt and anger, the deep regret for things done or left undone, words said or left unsaid.

“I am not so sure about hindsight. What we might or might not have said or done would have had its own consquences and carried the seeds of its own failures. The truth is we have little real power to change how events unfold themselves in the world. The little we can do will always be messy and ambivalent, and there is always something left hanging unfinished.”

Rev Scott said all who knew him were touched by the strange and painful nature of the story of the events which eventually led to Thomas Ruttle’s death.

Rev Scott said: “Time will bring its own element of healing, but for those that were close to him, Thomas will always be remembered, even in many years’ time, with a twinge of pain, like an old deep wound never quite healed, the flesh beneath the scars still tender.

The house near Askeaton, Co Limerick, where the bodies of Ms Holmes and Mr Ruttle were discovered.

“We need to be patient and understanding with one another, care for, support, and help one another through the difficult times, and not expect too much too quickly. So let this be a time of grieving, let the tears flow and the sorrow find expression. This will not bring shame or embarrassment, but it may be the beginning of healing.”

Toxicology tests taken at the postmortem by State pathologist Dr Marie Cassidy will reveal the cause of death. However indications at the scene indicate they may have taken a substance and suffered carbon monoxide poisoning.

The PSNI were seeking Ms Holmes at the time of her death. She had been jailed in the US for a major fraud there before being deported back to Northern Ireland.