Friends and classmates should be told truth about the tragedy

A consultant psychiatrist and expert on suicide has spoke of the necessity for the friends and classmates of murdered twins Thomas and Paddy O’Driscoll to be told the truth of what happened to them in an age-appropriate way.

Professor Patricia Casey, Consultant Psychiatrist at the Mater Hospital, said: “There might be a temptation to say ‘we won’t tell them what has happened’. But they do need to know that their friends won’t be coming back and they died in very sad circumstances.

“Work that has been done in countries where there are similar circumstances with mass killing of children, shows trying to keep things as normal as possible in terms of school etc is important. Closing down the school, apart from the day of the funeral, would not be possible. They may not do much work, they may just want to talk about their friends or ask questions of their teachers, but my advice is that ideally they should keep the school up and running.”

Despite the apparent circumstances of the twins’ deaths, Professor Casey said she did not believe there was a need for professional counsellors at this stage.

“Most children will be distressed and there is nothing wrong with being distressed. It is entirely appropriate but they will most likely not need professional help,” she said. “If parents notice their children are struggling to sleep or getting unpleasant dreams, they should be there to comfort them.”

She said parents should spend time with their children reassuring them of their own safety and that this was a very rare and unusual thing.

On the friends of the O’Driscoll’s older son Jonathan who is thought to have killed the boys before taking his own life, Professor Casey said they would have their own questions, wondering whether they should have seen this coming.

“I would encourage them to talk among themselves and talk with their parents if they need to,” she said. “They should openly ask the questions rather than wondering in silence.”

She also advised anyone still thinking and worrying about the children’s death in the weeks after the funeral to talk about it with their general practitioner.

She said Irish communities cope very well with death, even terribly difficult and tragic deaths.

“Over the years we have had so many very tragic multiple deaths, that we did not have to cope with in the past.”

She said Irish people deal with funerals very well, turning out and not being afraid to talk to the bereaved.

“In this instance, because of the circumstance, people may feel shy to approach the family because they do not know what to say because it is such a disturbing and distressing event,” she said.

“I would say to people, do talk to the bereaved. There is no right or wrong thing to say. If you are stuck for words be honest and say ‘I don’t know what to say to comfort you. I am thinking about you and praying for you’.

“Or perhaps, ‘This is a terrible tragedy to befall anybody. We are here to give you any help and assistance’,” she added.