Inspectors hear every excuse in the book for lack of TV licence

The kind of excuses people make for failing to pay their television licence would probably make for good reality TV show.

In Britain, the firm responsible for collecting the fees has decided to go one better with its own YouTube production. It consists of the wackiest excuses made for failing to pay up.

Here at home, An Post TV inspector Paul Brennan has plenty of material to do likewise. “I’ve seen people dragging the TV out to the back garden or putting it in a closet to avoid me seeing it,” he told a recent edition of An Post’s staff magazine, Postnews.

Others adopt more brazen tactics: “I had a case recently where a guy told me that he didn’t have a TV. He invited me in and right there in the sitting room was a 42-inch plasma TV. He claimed it was his computer and then began to curse a well-known electrical shop for selling him the wrong product.”

Paul, who has worked as a TV licence inspector for 15 years, has heard every excuse in the book: “One lady claimed that the TV in front of me was broken and used only as a stand for a vase of flowers. So I switched the TV on to check. As it burst into life, she remarked: ‘But look, the colour is not as good as it should be.’”

In England one woman tried to avoid paying her TV licence fee by claiming she only used its glow as a reading lamp. Another said he didn’t think he had to pay as he had stolen the TV.

These clips featured in a YouTube video made by TV Licensing to encourage people to pay the fee. More than 400,000 people in Britain were caught last year without a licence.

TV Licensing spokesman Stephen Farmer said: “Some of the excuses are simply hilarious whilst others show a great deal of imagination and creativity but being caught without a valid TV licence is a criminal offence and no laughing matter.

“Joking and wacky excuses apart, it’s breaking the law to watch live television without a licence so anybody doing this risks prosecution and a fine of up to £1,000.”

Some of the most imaginative excuses include: *Kilmarnock: “I have lost weight and had to buy new clothes. I could not afford a licence.”

*Unknown: “Apparently my dog, which is a corgi, was related to the Queen’s dog so I didn’t think I needed a TV licence.”

*Belfast: “I don’t want to pay for a licence for a full year. Knowing my luck, I’ll be dead in six months and won’t get value for money.”

*Cardiff: “I could not pay for my TV licence because the Olympic torch was coming down my road and I could not get to the shop as the road was too busy.”

*Dundee: “Only my three-year-old son watches the TV. Can you take it out of the family allowance I receive for him? He watches it so he should pay.”

In figures

*An Post sold 1,004,000 television licences in 2012.

*A further 408,000 licences were acquired through the Dept of Social Protection.

*An Post estimates the evasion rate at 15%.

*TV licences cost €160.

*The maximum fine for failure to pay is €1,000.