Bono joins Damon’s toilet strike

In his latest campaign to make the world a better place, Bono has vowed to boycott toilets and bathroom facilities until everyone in the third world has access to clean drinking water and sanitation.

In a promotional ad for clean water campaign group water.org, which was founded by actor Matt Damon, the star of Goodwill Hunting tells viewers:

“Until everyone has access to clean water and sanitation I will not go to the bathroom. The toilet strike is important. All right — who is with me?”

Damon is later joined in the two-minute-long campaign video by Richard Branson, Olivia Wilde, and Bono, who explains his reason for getting involved in the toilet protest.

“I am supporting Matt Damon’s toilet strike. We won’t go to the bathroom until everyone in the world has access to clean water and sanitation; 780m people, that is one in nine, lack access to safe water and spend hours each day just fetching clean water.”

The U2 frontman later adds: “I remember when Matt first brought up the idea. It was at a meeting of the Illuminati. It is embarrassing I am a pacifist. This is one conspiracy we can all agree on.”

The odd promotional campaign video about clean water — or possibly its intention was to make fun of conspiracy theories — ends with Branson yelling: “Illuminati assemble!”

The Illuminati is the name given to a secretive group, who some believe control the world via pointless wars and international high finance.

The toilet campaign, called strikewithme.org, has received several hundred thousand views on YouTube.

Due to the nature of the ad, viewers could be forgiven for thinking Bono was “taking the piss.” But the campaign is genuine and the video features on the water.org website.

As of going to press, there was no one available from U2 for comment.

Legal experts warned last night that Bono could find himself on the wrong side of the law if he attempts to go to the toilet in places other than a bathroom or his own private land.

Urinating in public is considered indecent exposure and under the Criminal Justice (Public Order) Act 1994, the fine for a first time offence is a maximum of €500.

If a person is done under the Criminal Law Amendment Act 1935 as amended, the defendant could face six months in jail as well as a fine of up to €500.00.