Smooth Noonan outshone Howlin and stole the show

PIPPA MIDDLETON and Michael Noonan may not have quite the same look about them, but they sure make a similar impact on the big state occasions — stealing the show.

Like Waitey Katie before him, Labour’s Brendan Howlin dreamed of being centre of attention, with Noonan trailing in his wake — but things did not turn out like that.

The Finance Minister delivered a far subtler, nuanced and emotionally intelligent Dáil performance than Howlin had managed and, as with the Middleton sisters, there were bound to be unflattering comparisons after Labour insisted on splitting the budget across two days in a desperate bid to get equal billing in an uneven Coalition.

Indeed, the premiere of Budget II: The Revenge — This Time It’s Personal, saw the red carpet stained with internal Labour bloodletting as Mr Noonan’s smoothly assured speech left the junior half of the political partnership looking like the nasty party of the pair.

And the impact was soon felt on the floor of the Dáil as Labour saw yet another deputy fleeing from its flock — at this rate of attrition Eamon Gilmore will be the only TD left in his party by the time the next budget comes along.

Losing three deputies in less than a month looks almost as careless as leaving pensioners in the cold and disabled teenagers with just about half their benefits, but that is what Mr Gilmore has succeeded in doing.

At least one more deputy was on the brink of jumping ship, but decided to stay at the last minute, but they say they can still only count their commitment to the party whip in terms of months, not years.

It is beginning to make Mr Gilmore’s grip on the party look somewhat shaky — and all this against the backdrop of claims on the Labour benches that Joan Burton threatened to quit as Social Protection Minister during the bitter turf war in the run-up to the budget as she fought to defend her department’s funding.

Sources close to the minister deny such a dramatic showdown, but it will certainly do her no harm in a mid-term leadership battle with Mr Gilmore that many in the party suspect is coming.

Patrick Nulty’s decision to quit did not come as a huge surprise as most observers believed his victory in the Dublin West by-election could soon turn out to be a hollow triumph for the leadership as it was only a matter of time before the left-winger turned it into a bye-bye election and headed off on his own.

Even so, lasting just 40 days from poll-topper to budget-dropper did set something of a new Dáil walking record.

While Labour looked like the budget losers politically, saddled with doling out most of the bad news, Mr Noonan was left to take a loftier stance, even though he mingled policy U-turns with screw-turns on hard pressed families.

Once branded Fine Gael’s lost leader, with the sight of him wiping away the remnants of a custard pie that had been splattered into his face during the 2002 general election coming to symbolise Mr Noonan’s disastrous attempt to take on the mantle of political gravitas — all is changed.

He is now the sure-footed grandee of Irish politics, able to trip up opponents and coalition partners alike with a delicate flick of the ankle.

Mr Howlin promised this would be the last “Big Bang Budget” — and that’s just as well considering how badly it has blown-up in Labour’s face as the Finance Minister danced rings around them.

But, obviously the big difference between Pippa and Noonan is that while Ms Middleton is known for her svelte bottom, the Finance Minister is famous for his sheer front.