Getting older men to socialise

“WHERE are all the men?”

So asked President Mary McAleese in one of the engagements she undertook across rural Ireland in her last few years in office.

She was finding that at most of the social gatherings to which she was invited, the vast majority of those in attendance were women. There is little doubt that women get out a lot more. The male condition combined with cultural mores about privacy ensure that the problem is more acute in rural areas.

There are more than 200,000 men over the age of 65 in Ireland, with the proportion in rural parts at the higher end of the scale. About one third of these men are estimated to live alone. At the current rate, up to 25% of the population will be over 65 by 2026.

One serious issue in rural Ireland is male suicide. Earlier this year, coroners in two countries referred to this. In Offaly, Dr Brian Mahon suggested suicide was “rampant” in rural Ireland in the course of a day in which five of the six cases before him related to male suicides, with the victims all aged between 32 and 60.

In South Kerry, Terence Casey pointed to the age profile of the suicide cases coming before his court. According to figures he release, four out of 12 people who took their own lives in 2005 were over 60, four were between 30 and 50, three were between 20 and 30, and one was under 20.

The following year, seven of the nine suicides were over the age of 40. Four of the seven in 2008 were over 50. In 2009, four of the 13 cases were over 60 and three in the 40-50 age bracket.

“There is a gap in social life in rural Ireland,” says Terence. “We have to question the suicide trend in the older age groups.”

The trend is similar in other largely rural counties. In Clare, more people are estimated to die by suicide than on the roads.

This does not negate the corresponding prevalence among young males, but the phenomenon in the older demographic is more rural-based.

Console, the suicide prevention agency, receives 3,000 calls a month to its helpline. Many callers are from rural areas.

“We get calls at 3am and 4am in the morning from people who feel that life has no meaning for them anymore,” says Console’s Paul Kelly.

“Life has changed completely for some of these people. The old certainties like politics and the church which used to connect communities are no longer what they were. A lot are worried about the future of farming. And as well anybody expressing these kind of opinions in rural Ireland is sometimes seen as a sign of weakness. We have to try and find ways of linking in with rural Ireland.”

One avenue that is being explored grew out of an initiative set up by Mary McAleese and her husband, Martin. The couple approached the GAA and suggested that the organisation was well placed to set up an initiative to effectively get older men out of their homes and into communities. The GAA Social Initiative was born last year.

Initially, 90 clubs were invited to get involved. Since that proved to be a success, up to 150 clubs have become engaged in setting up social outlets for older men.

The initiative’s project manager Sean Kilbride says that the engagements begin with the most basic contact, asking groups into clubhouses for a cup of tea.

“From there outings to places like Croke Park are organised, and further get-togethers. We would ask clubs to put on maybe five or six social gatherings a year to start out with. But as well once contact is made we link in with other agencies like the local guards, and we provide information on healthy lifestyles and try to get walking groups going. Anything to get older men to come together.”

Martin McAleese keeps an interest in the initiative, which is undergoing a review this year. Among the aspects to be examined is whether to expand the initiative to include women in a more general approach.

“My own ambition would be for all GAA clubs to be doing something like this,” says Kilbride. “The key objective remains identifying people in the community who do need a social outlet.”