Fast-food politics and awful soundbites: Meet the new Dáil

ONCE centre stage of national life, the supposedly new-look Dáil felt more like an amateur fringe production as the curtain lifted for the new political season.

The Oireachtas re-opened early for business, but energy was already draining away from it both physically and metaphorically as a chunk of the ESB became the first of the family silver to be hived off to please our Euromasters, and the major decision of the day — to slightly ease our bailout shackles — was taken by financial technocrats in another country.

Natural Resources Minister Pat Rabbitte did not try to hide his distaste for the sell-off of a large chunk of the energy supplier, noting sardonically: “Not that we are going to put it up on eBay next week.” But the announcement merely telegraphed the impotence of an Oireachtas whose economic orders are barked from Brussels.

With little power to affect the real world outside, the Dáil devoted much of its time trying to reorder the often unreal world inside.

And so came to pass the brave new world of the “Topical Issues” segment of the Dáil day, whereby four matters of national importance will be given precisely 48 minutes in which to be thrashed out.

All the matters were clearly demanding of attention: the Talk Talk job losses, the suicide crisis, cancer treatment and the sudden withdrawal of community projects.

But allocating just 12 minutes to each one was risible, creating a kind of drive-by democracy, which too easily collapsed into pointless posturing.

Independent Waterford TD John Halligan refused to take part, insisting that being allowed 70 seconds to question the relevant minister on the Talk Talk abandonment of their workers, followed by a 45-second response, was an insult to those already so badly treated by the firm.

After being ordered to leave the chamber, Mr Halligan declined to budge and it took two votes and a bout of what resembled tense hostage-style negotiations between him and House officials for the deputy to finally back down and exit his seat quietly.

Labour Waterford TD Ciara Conway did take the opportunity to use the meagre Dáil time offered, but her appallingly contrived soundbite: “Talk talk is not enough... we need action, action,” unintentionally captured the vacuousness of such an inappropriate, fast-food treatment of the loss of 575 livelihoods in a region already ravaged by unemployment.

She then asked Environment Minister Richard Bruton what he was going to do about the situation, and though he went through the motions for a full four minutes, his answer could be neatly summed up as: “Er, not much.”

The grim attempt at gesture politics saw 1.2 seconds of Dáil time given to each sacked Talk Talk worker — and took their situation exactly nowhere.

While the Dáil is in desperate need of a radical overhaul and far more immediacy, this was not the way to go about achieving that.

But some things never change as just four in 10 deputies bothered to turn up for the key centrepiece of the session that is Leader’s Question.

Meet the new Dáil, same as the old Dáil — just with even less power.