Internet misuse puts strain on marriages, counsellors warn

MARRIAGE guidance counsellors have warned that overuse and misuse of the internet is placing extreme pressure on some couples.

Accord, the Catholic marriage care service, has reported a record increase in demand for counselling by couples whose relationship has come under strain.

Accord reported an 8% increase demand for its services in its annual report for 2010, which was published yesterday.

In particular, the agency expressed concern about the growth in the number of people who cited their partner’s use of the internet as acontributory factor for difficulties in their relationship.

Ruth Barror, Accord’s national director, said complaints about a partner’s use of the internet had increased by 20% last year and by 125% since 2007.

However, Ms Barror said there was no specific information on whether complaints about internet use were related to use of social networking, gambling or pornography.

She claimed that communication difficulties between partners remained the primary concern, although there was also an increase in the number of couples who listed financial problems as a source of conflict.

The service, which is operated by 800 counsellors at 60 centres on the island of Ireland, provided a record high of 43,627 hours of counselling last year.

Accord also reported a decrease in the number of people attending its marriage preparation courses, which Ms Barror attributed to a fall in the number of couples getting married, as well as an increase in the number of alternative course providers.

Ms Barror said its services were open to all couples including those who were neither married nor Catholic. She estimated that 30% of Accord’s clients were not married and 25% were non-Catholic.

She also stressed that its services were also offered regardless of the person’s ability to pay. Contributions from clients fell from €9,219 in 2009 to €6,441 last year.

Asked if Accord would be willing to offer its services to same-sex couples, Ms Barror said that while the agency was open to everyone, its focus was in dealing with traditional, heterosexual couples.

“We will refer appropriately if it is outside our expertise,” she added.

Ms Barror said Accord also planned to conduct follow-up contacts with couples to ascertain the success of the agency’s counselling services.

The president of Accord, Bishop of Elphin Christopher Jones, said married couples should invest as much time in their relationships as they do on their home, work and hobbies.

“Relationships cannot exist as static unions. They need to be nurtured and grown in love,” he said.

The bishop said the recession has placed enormous pressure on many marriages and families. “Tragically, too many people had put all their trust and energy in the job, the house and money as they took their relationships for granted.”

Bishop Jones also said he agreed with the view that the breakdown of marriages was a likely contributory factor in the recent riots in Britain.

“I do believe children who grow up in insecure homes are damaged for life and very often it expresses itself later in life.”