Lowry is right ...it is a scandal of epic proportions

MICHAEL LOWRY was talking fiction and lies in the Dáil.

What money trail? It was a work of “fiction”, he insisted. What £900,000 benefits?

It was “lies” he claimed, before adding that he was embroiled in a “scandal of epic proportions” — well, at least we can all agree on that one.

But Lowry seemed to believe the scandal was the Moriarty Report itself — not the fact that the High Court judge had found that while communications minister he helped tycoon Denis O’Brien win the most lucrative contract in the history of the State, or that the Tipperary TD engaged in a “profoundly corrupt” act with Ben Dunne in order to manipulate rents.

No, it seems Justice Moriarty rivals JK Rowling in the fantasy stakes, and has something of a grudge against poor little Lowry to boot.

It was all getting a bit testy in the Dáil as Fine Gael’s “Big Phil” Hogan invited Fianna Fáil to settle things outside.

Mr Hogan is officially known as the Environment Minister, and unofficially known as “FG’s Mr Fix-It”, or (to some) “The Real Leader” and he was most perturbed at Fianna Fáil accusations he may have had secret sight of a draft of the Moriarty Report and all manner of other shenanigans.

So, he challenged them to go outside and repeat it, presumably so that he could sue them, which would have made for a menacing moment of Dáil theatre — except that the Fianna Fáil TDs were already, well, outside, and had not bothered turning up to hear the statement of the man they have taunted most since the Moriarty Report broke.

Now, this is a tad rude as Micheál Martin and what remains of his men are only there in the first place because the dwindling band of Fianna Fáil voters took pity on them and sent them back to Leinster House in somewhat reduced circumstances — so, the least you would have thought they could do in return is to actually turn up for a key part of the debate.

But perhaps it was just as well Mr Martin was absent as the Justice Minister Alan Shatter was already complaining that the Fianna Fáil leader was making him feel decidedly unwell because of his “nauseating hypocrisy” regarding the, shall we say, more unusual elements of political fundraising — or to give it the technical name Pat Rabbitte used: “jiggery-pokery”.

Oh, and how Mr Rabbitte relished and savoured every opportunity to lord it over the old Fianna Fáil foes as he swaggered back into Cabinet after 14 long years in the shadows, as when he regally told an increasingly excited Mr Martin: “I invite him to contain himself.”

Despite distancing themselves further form the disgraced deputy from Tipperary, Fine Gael certainly still have questions to answer over the Lowry/O’Brien affair — especially the $50,000 question of why they sat on, and as Moriarty states “concealed”, a notorious donation of that size from the winners of the mobile phone licence for years until it was exposed by the media and finally confessed to the tribunal. But Mr Martin is handicapped by his own party’s past, namely their love-in with Lowry as they limped through the last Dáil.

Enda Kenny seized on this association and, rather waspishly followed it up by insisting Fine Gael had never depended on “tents or balaclavas” for petty cash.

In his drive-by assault on the opposition, Big Phil also made dark mutterings about Sinn Féin’s fundraising history, but with Fianna Fáil so weakened and winded, the Shinners do now have a real opportunity to push through as the main thorn in the side of the Government — or rather they would if Gerry Adams could get his act together.

Even his own TDs are looking increasingly aghast at his rather clumsy Dáil interventions, perhaps longing for fierce Pearse Doherty to take over, and really take on Fianna Fáil.

Labour’s Eamon Gilmore has been uncharacteristically quiet since becoming Tánaiste and virtually mute on the fallout from the Lowry-O’Brien affair, so it was left to serial rebel Tommy Broughan — who seems increasingly semi-detached from the party since he voted against it going into government — to speak for the left and denounce Fine Gael’s “disgraceful” behaviour and concealment of the monies.

Lowry rose for a third time in the Dáil debate discussing the damning report into his activities to bemoan the fact he faced a censure motion and had been “ridiculed”.

He was last heard threatening to take his case to the European Court of Human Rights, but for now his name lives in infamy — as in that classic Carry-On line: “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!”