All arms on deck

IN case Red C don’t cut it, Newstalk have turned to the English Channel.

As if enough ink hadn’t been spilled calling this election, now an octopus has joined the fray. You’ll recall how renowned tipster Paul the Octopus sadly passed away recently having left punters squids in with his predictions during the South Africa World Cup.

Now former Something Happens front man Tom Dunne has parachuted in Paul’s cousin Ringo — a Dorset native — to predict the election outcome for his Newstalk 106 show.

“We’re delighted to have signed up the services of Ringo,” says Dunne. “We’ll be tracking his predictions here at his home in Seahorse Aquariums in Ballymount, Dublin.”

Each day, Dunner will call on Ringo to make a prediction by choosing from different containers bearing the pictures of the party leaders. So far, he’s proved his psychic mettle by tipping Micheál Martin as the winner of the Fianna Fáil leadership election and predicting Enda Kenny would not show up for the TV3 leadership debate.

SAY WHAT

Furious at how much it costs to fill up each week? Well don’t expect prices to come down after the election. As TV3 News told us yesterday:

“Petrol pump politics are over…”

SPOKE IN THE WHEEL

Young Dylan Haskins has been making waves in Dublin South East. In the poll at boards.ie/vote, the 23-year-old hybrid of the best Macaulay Culkin and David McWilliams have to offer, has 19.5% share of the vote, topping the poll ahead of Paul Sommerville, Ruairi Quinn, Lucinda Creighton and John Gormley.

For once, however, Dylan’s party machine seems to have let him down.

CALLING IT AS THEY SEE IT

Twitter — social network turned political commentator.

TAKING CAMPAIGN ON MERIT

JOHN Giles appeared with Eamon Gilmore at the launch of Labour’s “Plan for sporting communities” over the weekend. But is it really wise for Eamon to have Gilesy endorsing his party’s policies?

Over the years Johnny has made no secret of his belief that social progress has drastically hindered Ireland’s ability to field a top-class international football team. In particular he has been a long-standing objector to the debilitating role “third-level education and personal stereos” have played in distracting every half-decent prospect.

In fact, during his most recent State of the Nation address during the 2010 World Cup finals, Gilesy expanded his list of unwanted improvements to include “remote controls, Playstations and traffic”.

With many sports lovers among the outgoing government, we understand they may have had the 2018 World Cup in mind when they brought us to our financial knees. But is Labour now ready to take up the baton and bring poverty home?

TWEET RELIEF

Does Cavan-Monaghan independent John McGuirk not remember what happened to Babs Keating?

More in this section

Puzzles logo
IE-logo

Puzzles hub

Visit our brain gym where you will find simple and cryptic crosswords, sudoku puzzles and much more. Updated at midnight every day. PS ... We would love to hear your feedback on the section right HERE.

Puzzles logo
IE-logo

Puzzles hub

Visit our brain gym where you will find simple and cryptic crosswords, sudoku puzzles and much more. Updated at midnight every day. PS ... We would love to hear your feedback on the section right HERE.