Failure to conceive can be just as devastating for men

IN the past, if a married couple failed to produce a child, there was often an assumption that the woman was “barren”, and no one ever thought there was anything wrong with the male, says Helen Browne, chairwoman of the National Infertility Support and Information Group (NISIG).

This assumption has waned, largely through publication in the media of statistics which show that about a third of couples affected by infertility are grappling with male factor problems linked to quality or quantity of sperm. Statistics from Irish fertility clinics show the ratio of male/female infertility is fairly evenly split.

However, men and women can react very differently to a diagnosis.

“The thing with the men is you don’t really look at trying to solve the problem for the man, it’s only trying to overcome it,” says Dr Tim Dineen, laboratory manager at the Cork Fertility Centre.

“If the couple go ahead and achieve pregnancy and they have children, well then, everything is good, but if they don’t and he still has his problem, it’s still there and it’s not solved in any way.

“Whereas for the woman, if there’s endometriosis, some of that can be removed and even if it’s a tubal problem, success might not be great but at least you can try to solve that as well.”

Dr Dineen believes fertility treatment focuses on the female because most of the investigations are on her side and physically, she is very involved. But he has a lot of sympathy for the men.

“Of course with men, they don’t like talking about this at all, so their coping is different. You can certainly sense at times that while the guy is there, he really would prefer to be anywhere else.”

Dr Osman Shamoun, consultant obstetrician/gyanecologist at the Clane Fertility Clinic, said the male and female reactions to infertility are completely different.

“I think the women is more involved because of the fact she is the one who will get pregnant, she is the one carrying the baby, she feels she is more responsible about fertility, even if the problem is not on her side. Men, they are a little bit behind, they try to ignore it, and it actually affects them very much, much more than a woman.

“Male factor infertility is sometimes very difficult to accept. I think it’s just a culture thing, that when you have a fertility problem, it might make you less than a man, which is absolutely not true, but again most men do not know there is that high percentage of male fertility problems.”

And because the man’s role is confined to producing sperm, he can feel diminished, Dr Dineen says.

“He is giving the sample, which of course can be a problem for the men when they are told ‘go into the room and we will see you in half an hour’.

“There’s all this [fertility treatment] going on for the couple and it may all be down to him but he’s got such a small role and it is actually diminished, or at least he may feel that it is.”

Ms Browne says some men find the whole experience degrading and find it difficult to give a sample.

“Women are instinctively maternal. If you tell a two-year-old girl that her dolly is sick, she will pick it up and cradle it. She instinctively knows what to do. Also, women are indoctrinated into motherhood. Socially, we grow up with dolls and prams, we have periods, we baby sit in our teens, we have a womb. Men don’t really get that feeling until they feel and hold a child.”