Enda’s going nowhere... and Trickie Dickie agrees
At least he and Richard Bruton can agree on that – though both have wildly differing interpretations of the phrase.
Fine Gael usually wait until an election is actually called before they decide to lose it, but this time they’ve started early.
As the press corps waited impatiently for Mr Kenny to turn up and trash Richard, one uncharitable wag mused: “Typical Enda, late for his own political funeral!”
But Enda was not going to go quietly. He had clearly taken a leaf out of the book of that other embattled right-wing blonde, Margaret Thatcher, when she roared in similar circumstances: “I fight on. I fight to win.” She was political history within days.
In contrast, Mr Kenny made it clear he’d be sticking around, at least until Thursday, and announced that following on from the motion of no confidence he put down in the Taoiseach (delicious timing), he was now putting down a motion of confidence in himself.
While insisting he would retain his quarter-century- long friendship with Bruton, Enda wasted no time in deftly plunging the knife in, reminding little Richard that he had stood up for his big brother John during similar treachery.
“I was that soldier. I have that T-shirt,” he declared.
But while Enda may have the T-shirts, slick little Trickie Dickie reckons he’s got the T-Dees.
Yet Bruton’s TV screen justifications for his potential putsch were hardly electrifying – bringing to mind memories that just when you think Fine Gael could not get a worse leader, they do.
If Enda survives he limps on without the economic brains of the operation.
If Bruton – now enthroned as the Leader of the Opposition to the Leader of the Opposition – takes the crown, he risks reopening the faction fighting that did so much to ensure the party has not won a general election in 28 years.
After an initial public display of affection for Enda, Leo Varadkar, who would usually rival Katie Price for desperate attempts at attention seeking, was strangely nowhere to be seen. Nor was the equally ambitious Brian Hayes, while Simon Coveney issued a bland call for unity as he stonewalled harder than a Connemara farm hand.
Some heavyweights came out for Enda, but everyone else was swinging in the wind – and trying to decide which direction it was blowing in.
The only distraction was the sound of loud, incredulous laughter from Fianna Fáil and Labour.
