Hair-raiser gives ‘something back’ to search and rescue heroes

ON Christmas Day last year 28-year-old Aidan Lynch had made up his mind to take his own life.

That day was a happy one for him, surrounded by all of his family, and in his own little way, he said his good-byes to them all.

Looking back, his sister Jess remembers the day clearly and can see his subtle farewells.

“He was at our house on Christmas Day and every one of us had some little sign from him,” she recalls.

“Whether it was giving his nieces a wink, his sister-in-law, brothers, we all had a little sign – his mind was very much made up.”

It was New Year’s Eve when the call came. Jess, who works in a busy pub at Cork’s docklands, was preparing to ring in the new year with the packed bar.

But at about 20 minutes to midnight, when she saw seven missed calls from another brother, she knew something was drastically wrong.

Aidan, like every other young person on the night, had been having drinks with friends at a house in Cork city centre, near the fast flowing river at Sullivan’s Quay.

Walking out into the bitterly cold night, Aidan stepped ahead of his group of friends and went into the water, telling them what he was going to do and saying goodbye as he did.

Friends and family were in complete shock, but Jess says to a certain extent it was not totally unexpected.

Jess can’t pinpoint exactly when Aidan’s problems began. He was always a very troubled soul, she says.

“He had tried similar things before and he had been treated for depression.”

The next few days were spent searching for Aidan, with the Garda and naval divers and voluntary team Mallow Search and Rescue.

She remembers the generosity of people out searching the freezing waters around Cork city.

“It was very humbling, we were up and down the river looking for him. When something bad happens you find out how good people are.”

Unfortunately stories like Aidan’s are all too common around Cork city.

“When I hear something like it, it brings it all back.”

It took about four days to find Aidan’s body.

“We had the initial shock of what happened and then had to go straight into practical mode. It was all about finding and recovering him

“Even though you know the news is bad, there was strange relief when we did find him – having a bit of closure and laying him to rest.”

Losing Aidan has been very difficult for all of the Lynch family, but Jess feels they did all they could for Aidan.

“Depression is not a nine to five illness, it is very easy to say more could have been done, but we just don’t know. It is very easy to feel guilty about these things, but all of our family are very much of the opinion we did all we could for him.”

The stigma around suicide is “absolutely there,” says Jess. “I don’t know how to put it, but when people say ‘committing’ suicide – it’s not a crime, the only crime he committed was to himself.

“I find that sometimes older people find it hard to accept and to an extent people find it hard to talk about, but I have great friends whom I have been able to talk about it with.”

Giving something back to those who helped find her brother became very important to Jess.

This week she shaved off her trademark traffic light red hair in aid of the Mallow Search and Rescue and the Missing Persons of Ireland.

“I wanted to highlight all the great people doing work off their own bat, it’s just great.”

Jess had originally been planning to shave her hair off for the breast cancer unit at South Infirmary as her aunt is fighting breast cancer.

But then New Year’s Eve happened, and she decided to do something for the search and rescue heroes instead.

So how does she feel to have lost her bright red locks?

“I’m grand about it, people around me are more traumatised.

“A girl beside me was crying and my little niece was upset, I don’t mind – at the end of the day it’s going to grow back.”