Wanted: Wise man, must have own whitewash

WANTED: One “Wise Man” to investigate Irish banking crisis: must be able to work in secret without curious nature or interest in the truth.

No need for frankincense, gold or myrrh – but own pot of whitewash essential. Apply to: People Who Caused Irish Banking Crisis c/o Government Buildings. Time-wasters welcome.

That’s not quite what Finance Minister Brian Lenihan said yesterday, but that was what anyone with more than half a brain heard as the people who brought you a bankrupt state went one better and delivered a bankrupt democracy as well.

It’s no wonder the poor old Dáil hardly ever turns up for work if this is the way it gets treated when it does.

Just weeks after the Government dismissed the very idea of a inquiry into the banking collapse – it is only the most disastrous event in the history of the state after all – the Cabinet realised it would have to bend to reality, but just as long as it could try and bend that reality to the outcome it wanted.

So, instead of getting the Dáil to engage in a short, sharp US Congress-style probe into what went wrong, why, and who was to blame, we have an Irish solution to an Irish crisis – in other words, a cover-up.

Behold, a Wise Man, (or even Wise Woman – hey it’s the 21st century) will emerge in the coming days to lead us to the promised land of fiscal probity and atonement. Rather than bring any democratic accountability or transparency into the process the Wise Man/Woman will look into the banking crisis, and then pass their findings on to another Wise Man/Woman in May who will head a statutory commission of investigation into the collapse which will work strictly within Government-drawn boundaries to report to the Dáil by Christmas.

Except, of course, it won’t, because this is just another exercise in evasion by a Government that cannot risk the threat of a real, wide-ranging and speedy inquiry into how this country was brought to the brink of financial collapse on its watch.

The process has been set-up specifically and deliberately to look as if it was an attempt at accountability when in reality it is just a pretext to try and shut down awkward questions about how the financial crisis was allowed to happen until well after the next general election.

The deadlines will inevitably slip back as challenges to the probe will cause it to be delayed again and again on the pretext that anyone it may finger for wrong-doing in the banking or regulatory sector who is under a separate investigation will have their cases prejudiced if its report is published before those other inquiries complete.

And all the while, the Taoiseach and Finance Minister will try and bat away any question of their culpability in the collapse with the handy little excuse that it is all the subject of a top level probe, so why should they answer questions about it in the Dáil?

Brian Cowen has set it up so that Government policy and key events after the collapse will not be probed and Cabinet encouragement of the culture of greed which led to the crisis will not be a major focus for the Wise Men/Women who will divine their judgments in secret well away from the public gaze.

And just to show how much we have moved on from those dangerous days when regulation failed because of the incestuous nature of Irish finance, the head of the Central Bank will lead a fearless inquiry into, er, the Central Bank.

John Gormley had tried to make it a Green-wash with at least some public accountability, but the junior Coalition partners limited influence does not stretch that far and the Wise Men/Women can wash the findings any colour they want – as long as it’s white and comes after the next election.

But the conclusion of this terrified Government is already clear: the democratic institutions of the state can no longer be trusted to buckle before it and the public must again be kept in the dark.