China gets all animated over Tiger ‘clubbing’

THERE’S nothing Mickey Mouse about the manner in which a Chinese news station has used animation to reconstruct the alleged Mr and Mrs Tiger Woods over-clubbing incident.

It may not have the gore and guts of modern kill ’em all computer games, but the digital re-enactment of the couple’s bust-up has enough violent flat swings to merit an adult “coarse rating”.

The ace golfer has faced many hazards in his day but, according to the clip, when his wife discovered he had been playing in the rough, well, she claimed her penalty stroke by striking him on the face with her best approach shot.

The Chinese news item – using a clever combination of actual footage and animated antics – shows a confrontational cartoon couple in their home. Mrs Woods gets teed-off and shows him he’s not the only one with a lethal swing.

He then flees the house and as he’s driving away in his pimped Cadillac SUV, the missus speeds his departure by chasing him down the drive with what looks like, well, a driver.

All this time Tiger has been staring over his shoulder at his wife, who resembles a cross between Laura Croft and a velociraptor. Suddenly a fire hydrant and tree become metal bending features of a story which is on a par with the best of the worst soap operas.

Yesterday, the world’s number one golfer issued an apology for “personal sins and failings”. He received a traffic citation for careless driving and fined €108.

Meanwhile, one bookmaker has slashed the odds on Tiger Woods and his wife Elin divorcing each other from 10/1 to 4/1.

If Mrs Woods does decide to take a nine iron to their marriage, she could walk away with a staggering $500m (€332.3m) in a divorce settlement, according to Paddy Power who are quoting 20/1, this figure could be surpassed.