Titanic sinking slower than expected – and the Brians still play on

LIKE a desperately cheery first mate of The Titanic, Brian Lenihan announced the ship was sinking – but slightly slower than expected.

Yes, he’d forgotten to plan for enough lifeboats, but this was an emergency situation and everyone had to forget about just why we hit the iceberg so hard while he and Captain Cowen were at the helm and start trusting their judgment now.

As the Finance Minister unveiled the pre-budget estimates, he appeared to be surprised at why unemployment was remaining so “stubbornly” high.