Taoiseach’s sorry statement really takes the biscuit

OMINOUSLY, a faint smell of gas wafted near the entrance to the Merrion Hotel as Brian Cowen arrived.

This could have proved dangerous, for although the Taoiseach was not exactly on fire, he certainly had enough unexpected spark about him to cause a combustion.

After weeks of looking like a downbeat defendant in the dock of public opinion, Mr Cowen had decided to come out fighting.

And then, finally after being pressed repeatedly to apologise for the major mistakes made during his five-year stewardship of the economy, Mr Cowen finally said that little word “sorry”.

Was this the moment he would draw a line under the chaos and denial of the past 12 months and usher in a new political energy in which the electorate could at last get with a Taoiseach ready to battle on while being brave enough to admit his own failings?

Er, no. He wasn’t saying a sorry sorry, it was more of a “Sorry? What have I got to be sorry about?”

“I’m sorry, the economy hasn’t crashed.” he insisted

Sorry? But wasn’t that the sound of screeching tyres outside as the wheels came flying off the clapped-out wreck of our old banger of a boom as it smashed headlong into the wall of generational mass unemployment and endemic home repossession?

But anyway, it all seemed to be the opposition’s fault, according to Mr Cowen, because they hadn’t spotted the collapse either – and the media’s fault for not reporting that it was all the opposition’s fault.

To be fair to Mr Cowen, there was a sort of grudging acceptance, that yes the odd mistake may, I repeat, may, have been made by him, but at the time those mistakes were the right choices given the information available, so it really wasn’t his fault after all.

“If everyone knew then, what we know now, would there be different policies? Of course there would,” he mused.

And, no doubt, if monkeys were dolphins they’d live in the sea, but that doesn’t really get us anywhere, does it Taoiseach?

As the opposition was not there to be punished for their ruination of the economy, Mr Cowen decided to make an example of the press instead.

Fianna Fáil have been in a stinker of a mood with the media ever since the last election, but things have obviously really gotten to them in recent days and the party decided to go nuclear in hostilities with the fourth estate – it withdrew the biscuits.

The Merrion is rightly famous for its lavish selection of delicacies and many non-political journos have been known to turn-up at such gigs just to graze the drizzled almond delights on offer.

Maybe the withdrawal was intended as a chilling subliminal tough love message from Fianna Fáil to ram home the message that it may be bad under them, but under the Rainbow, every day would be like this – nothing but a glass of water and the occasional Club Milk to pass around.

The Taoiseach then put up another combative performance against an unusually feisty Enda Kenny at Leaders’ Questions with another clash over the economy, while the Greens were again in hiding.

The battle had commenced, Mr Cowen had finally entered the fray and we will see if he has anymore reason to be sorry when the dust settles on the electoral war zone in 16 days time.