Lights, camera, action: Critics left unimpressed by Brian’s budget debut

IF it had been a cinema, the lights would have dimmed, the low notes of a double-bass would have dominated a foreboding soundtrack and the whispers of an uneasy cast would have been broken only by a blood-curdling scream.

Brian & Brian’s budget blockbuster, the disaster movie of the decade, had all the ingredients for an unforgettable terrorfest. There was cutting and hacking of funds, the clasping of big spenders in rusty chains, deprivation of all hope of early release from suffering and the threat of ultimate disposal from the comfort of civil service jobs.

And there wasn’t even a cigarette to fulfil one last request because with an extra 50 cents on a pack, having a puff constitutes extravagance even beyond that of the major Hollywood studios.