Brians go bananas in pyjamas as bankers cash in

DAY two of The Emergency began badly and got worse as it became clear Tánaiste Mary Coughlan would be our hostess for this edition of the risky business roller coaster ride.

Right, Mary, the boss is in Paris, you’re doing Leaders’ Questions and it’s your big chance to prove you really do have a grip on this brief after all. Remember, the EU are enraged with us over the €400bn bailout stunt, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s not talking to us and the markets don’t need any more rocking from us, so just avoid saying anything alarmist, ok?

What the Tánaiste meant to say: “blah, blah, blah, stability, blah, blah, blah, responsibility...”