Helpline warns of rise in number of parents being bullied by children

MORE parents are being bullied and beaten by their children, a national helpline warned yesterday.

Delays of up to a year in accessing mental health services for children and adolescents in certain parts of the country are making the situation worse.

The Irish Association of Social Workers said its staff are coming in to contact more often with children who abuse their parents.

But association spokesman Declan Coogan said there is a chronic shortage of child and adolescent mental health teams.

“There is a huge lack of child and adolescent mental health teams nationally,” he said.

“They are known to be very effective but there is a waiting list of over a year for them in many parts of the country.

“As a result, people who are experiencing these problems become more entrenched and violent as time goes on when they can’t access these kinds of services.”

Parentline, the national support and advice group for parents and guardians, said yesterday that it has seen a surge in the number of parents contacting its helpline seeking help.

Parents say they are being emotionally abused and intimidated, and in extreme cases physically abused, by their children.

Some parents say that they are living in fear of their children, Parentline chief executive Rita O’Reilly, said. The issues range from:

* Children demanding money and transportation.

* Demanding a certain level of catering in the house.

* Demanding their clothes be washed.

* Demanding dinner be served at a particular time.

* Some children getting angry or abusive if housework isn’t done for them.

“Parents are being threatened with physical abuse. Children are shaping up to their parents or saying they will thump them,” said Ms O’Reilly.

“We do hear of children being physically violent towards their parents, although threatening behaviour is more common.”

Ms O’Reilly said that Parentline does not really understand why this is happening.

However, changing dynamics in the parent/child relationship, a more casual approach to parenting — where parents try to be friends with their children and discipline is less important — and the fact that some children are living at home for longer, could be contributing to the problem, she said.

An increase in the abuse of alcohol and drugs could also be playing a role, she said.

Parentline was established 20 years ago to provide a confidential helpline for parents and guardians.

It takes 6,000 calls a year, mostly from mothers, but with about 14% from fathers, on a broad range of issues.

* www.parentline.ie, or telephone: [phone], Monday to Thursday, 10am-9.30pm and Fridays 10am–4.30pm.