Oh Bertiekins, how stupid are we?

IT’S 1993 and the then finance minister and his life partner are enjoying a romantic night in at St Luke’s.

Their dinner trays clank awkwardly together as the couple perch on the side of the bed (the boudoir famously being the only room in the building Bertie Ahern has control over).

As Bertie puts the brown sauce bottle down to open a Bass can, the lovebirds begin to chat.