Drugs and hypocrisy? TDs would never indulge... would they?

THE beginning of the crime debate saw TDs disappearing from the chamber as quickly as a gram of coke at a middle-class dinner party.

Just minutes earlier, cocaine had been buzzing through everyone’s brain, with the Ceann Comhairle ruling out of order a question from Simon Coveney demanding to know if the Taoiseach had investigated claims a minister had snorted the stuff. The allegation by an author promoting a new book gave no name or dates, but the link between the Class A drug and politicians is obvious, as coke is well known to make the user talk repetitive, boring nonsense, usually about themselves.

White knight Deputy Coveney refused to be put off his line of questioning, insisting the unknown minister stated “he takes coke regularly and was certainly not the only one around here who does”.