Why change the habits of a lifetime?

YESTERDAY was possibly Bertie Ahern’s last Leaders’ Questions before the General Election with Pat Rabbitte, in a clear case of wishful thinking, even suggesting possibly his last Leaders’ Questions ever.

So in the dying days of this Dáil why change the habit of a lifetime?

Yes, predictably, they tore into each other like two neighbouring parishes involved in a grudge hurling match where they play away and never mind the ball.

The first swipe came earlier from Rabbitte but he will point to provocation.

He was asking the Taoiseach about the “Paddy the Plasterer” legislation and the ethics bill that was promised as a sop to Michael McDowell during BertieGate.

The Taoiseach replied that the legislation had “started in the Seanad and there is no reason it should not get through”.

But then a couple of minutes later, Rabbitte learned it had not yet reached the Seanad.

“The Government Chief Whip tells me,” Ahern replied cryptically, “that if the bill is not in the Seanad it is going to the Seanad.”

We knew where this was going. Within a minute Rabbitte was claiming: “There is not a day the Taoiseach comes in here that he does not tell blatant fibs. It is either in the Seanad or it is not.”

It led to our favourite crowd-pleaser, the almost daily stand-off between Rabbitte and Ceann Comhairle Rory O’Hanlon. Finally the offending word “fib” was withdrawn but not before the Labour leader got in a couple of extra digs and the Taoiseach showed a flash of temper.

“I will find out exactly where it is for the deputy. I will check whether it is in the whip’s office, stopped on a corridor or sitting on a shelf. If the deputy wants to get into that kind of precision, two of us can play at that game.”

We were all thrilled on the Taoiseach’s (possible) last day ever taking Leaders’ Questions that Rabbitte then went in for a moment of pure nostalgia when bringing up the subject of private hospitals on public hospital land. The Taoiseach replied with his party tune with that catchy chorus: “It will free up 1,000 additional beds.”

And as an encore he gave a rendition of Bertie the Bystander. Private sector buildings would be built years faster than the public sector. “The length of time it takes for public procurement contracts to get from A to B is just too slow,” he said.

The Greek Chorus on the opposition benches pitched in: “But that’s your job! That’s your job to do!”

And then Trevor Sargent started talking about climate change. It was one of those days. You had to be there!