Lift limbo adds to bad week for Bertie

IT never rains but it pours. And for Bertie Ahern, a troubled weekend was followed by one of the most miserable Mondays of his political career.

It was bad enough that he was taking it in the neck all weekend over the payments he received during his separation proceedings. But when things go wrong, they can go very wrong.

Yesterday, Bertie decided that he would stay schtum about the donations controversy and concentrate on what he is best at, meeting the plain people in Ireland.

OK, the choice of the zoo as the first port of call was unfortunate, and great boon to sketch-writers.

The were endless opportunities for metaphor. The ostrich sticking its head in the sand. Reminders of the Dáil coming back when he visited the chimpanzees or reptile house.

And a world first: A tiger (homo Celticus genus) getting mauled by an antelope (mayo depitus).

Yesterday, An Taoiseach found himself embarrassingly stuck in an even worse predicament, when he got stuck between floors in a crowded lift on a visit to Griffith College.

After five minutes of huffing and puffing, somebody managed to force open the lift doors.

Although they were still in limbo, all of the occupants managed to crawl out through a gap at their feet, including the poor Taoiseach, who had to call on the assistance of his Special Branch bodyguards.

It was, by any analysis, an undignified exit.

At least the Taoiseach is banking on it being the only one he will have to make this week.