Boys in green lose out in political clash

NO Doubt about it, yesterday was the most tumultuous day of world affairs since the Russians lost the Eurovision song contest.

What with the world’s superpowers meeting in Evian for the G8 Summit, North Korea still on the boil and the US/UK’s flimsy reasons for war in Iraq beginning to crumble, things were already at breaking point across the globe.

But as Tony Blair did his best to stop Jacque Chirac from blowing Gallic wind in the general direction of George Bush in France there was another titan political clash brewing across the channel.

In Manchester a high calibre soccer team of Dáil deputies led by Fine Gael TD Jimmy, the Gaffer, Deenihan, slipped out of their ties and showed a little leg in honour of the Emerald Isle.

Putin and Bush may have had their hands full urging North Korea and Iran to halt the development of their nuclear weapons but nothing on the world diplomatic stage yesterday compared to the urgency of the 22 parliamentarians and 800 years of history that took to the field at Old Trafford yesterday morning.

Whatever about weapons of mass destruction and excuses for war, there were no excuses needed as the Irish Parliamentary soccer team took on their British counterparts from the House of Commons at Man United’s home ground.

The pre-match talk was cautiously optimistic. Taking no risks either way Fine Gael Senator Joe McHugh said the Irish squad was ready for the challenge. “I think it’s going to be a bit of a carnival event, a bit of fun, a bit of craic, but also its also got the old enemy ingredient as well,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s going to be up there with Stuttgart ’88 or anything like that. We’ve just decided to go for it. We’re up for the challenge and looking forward to it,” he said, doing his best to think of nice ways of saying it was payback time for centuries of oppression.

But despite weeks of preparation, and a chance to do a Ray Houghton on the field of dreams, the boys in green, whose unorthodox line-up included such political tacklers as Fine Gael’s John Deasy and the Green Party’s Paul Gogarty, struggled to cope with the British tactics.

Ireland’s youngest, and presumably most nimble TD, Damien English, scored our only goal. And while Environment Minister Martin Cullen and Fine Gael’s Richard Bruton gave their all they couldn’t put ’em under enough pressure.

The British knocked in two goals, proving it’s never too tough to beat a bunch of Irishmen away from home on a bank holiday weekend.